Sushil J. Cherian

The Strangest Call I Overheard at Office

2009-10-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

The strangest call I overheard at Office…

Location: Desk of a colleague

Time: Around 3 PM

Call Type: Really Pesky Telemarketer Call.

The call was from some Big Name Bank wanting to convince my colleague to put in his hard earned money into infestments (thats how the caller pronouced “investments”). My colleague was pretty bugged(pun intended) by now that he was getting so many unsolicited calls on his work number so he wanted to have some fun and put the call on speakerphone.

From here on I will refer to the Telemarketer as TM and my Colleague as C and I overheard from this part onwards:

TM: Please saar infest some of your money in our XYZ funt (fund) or Midi-Kapi (mid cap) infestments.

C: Am not interested in this please. Please do not call at this number again.

TM: But saar this is a very eggciting offer we have to give you ….

C: Am not interested in this … please do not disturb me at work.

C: How did you get this number

TM: Sorry sir to disrupt you at work, you work a large company ? no ?

C: Actually I dont work for a large company…

TM(confused): You work for what then saar ?

C: I have my own business.

TM: What kind of business ?

C: Charayam distillation and distribution (Charayam - Liquor)

TM(Really Confused): Sir are you being serious ?

C: Yes of course …you asked me what business and this is what I do. Is there a problem ?

TM: Actually yes there may be a problem as we require Tax filing proofs.

C: Yes that may be a problem as I dont have tax proofs.

TM (Stunned silence): …..

C: Actually I have never filed taxes in my life ….

C: Come to think of it ..I could get into trouble if I filed taxes ..yes ?

TM (Still shocked): …..um… hmmm… err …

TM( Trying to recover): Saaar do you have a bank account ?

C: I dont have a bank account …that is only for white money !

TM: Saar what do you mean ?

C: I mean I also have my own printing press for Rs 500 & Rs 1000 notes …so I dont have to ever worry about money or taxes ….and so I dont need a bank … I print when I need money !

TM (Still stunned silence …I can hear background noise but no voice still): …..

C: Would you like to come join my operations …I am looking to expand into Banking line since anyways I can print money ..need to make some white money… need some marketing support …

TM: Sssir … please be serious…

C: I am serious … I have a job offer for you monthly pay : as many bundles of Rs500 you can print in 2 hours. How is that …when can you join me at work here ?

TM: S.s.s sir I have to talk to my supervisor …

C: Please go talk to your supervisor and not call this number again. “Click”

TM: “Click”

Note: This seems to be an increasing problem office facilities where we receive calls from outside numbers where the banks/card/loan companies seem to have found one number and then use that number to then dial all other extensions in sequence till they find someone who answers.

From our side we see an unknown number but cant ignore the call just in case it is either a team member/onsite member/family member trying to reach you in an emergency.

I dont have a solution to the problem other than such creative answers to give when bugged at work or on the mobile phone by telemarketers … let us be polite …but can we be creative ? Yes Of Course !

Category: category

How does the Suzuki Ritz compare with other cars

2009-05-16T21:01:00.001-07:00

With the launch of the Suzuki Ritz on May 15th, the market segment for large sized hatchbacks is starting on a fierce competition for buyer wallet share. Other vehicles to come out soon are the Jazz, the Grande Punto and the Polo. For the vehicles currently available in the market I have done the comparison of dimensions, key features and safety features here: http://cars.zimbly.com/2009/05/indian-super-hatches-comparison/

Driving In India

2009-05-16T20:58:00.000-07:00

After coming across the rules of the road for India and putting together a simplified cheat sheet for understanding the rules better I realized I was kidding myself - no one follows the rules. So I went about putting together a post of how people actually drive in India. Here it is: http://cars.zimbly.com/2009/05/driving-in-india/.

Shoot/Refresh these cars or this blogger gets hurt !

2009-05-03T06:43:00.000-07:00

Have published a new post on my other blog Zimbly Cars on the list of vehicles that need to be updated as soon as possible because their sales numbers are dropping very badly. Here it is: http://cars.zimbly.com/2009/05/shootrefresh-these-cars-or-this-blogger-will-get-hurt/

Category: Zimbly Cars

Cars.Zimbly.com

2009-03-26T18:12:00.000-07:00

Category: category

As much as I wanted to keep updating this blog I realized I am spending more time writing on another blog of mine so here is a link to it : http://cars.zimbly.com

I seem to write more often there - so my frequency of updates here most probably will be minimal.

Hello 2009 !

2009-01-01T03:39:00.000-08:00

Hello 2009. Hope this new year brings with it a chance to dust away the cobwebs around this blog and breathe new life into it. I hope to post to this blog once in a while.

Wishing everyone a bright and happy new year.

Where have I been for close to 3 years ? I have been busy with a lot of changes in my life - getting married for one. Having a baby for the second. These two events have been the highlights of the last three years.

This one goes out to the one I love ...

2006-01-25T18:25:00.000-08:00

I was been tagged by Quills in January but I was been busy with a lot of things to do this till now.(More details at the end of the post). Thanks Quills for tagging me and being patient for this post since it is now almost three months since the tag.

Rules of the game are:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they have been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there is no need to post again.

Sex of the target : Female
Most people I have seen do this tag are looking for a "Perfect" lover. I wish to approach this differently in that I am looking for a woman perfect for me.

Here are my requirements in no particular order of importance they are all important.

Needs to appreciate romance in general, must like romantic movies, must like love songs, poetry and appreciate chivalrous actions.
She has to be able to talk to me about anything and everything ...and I should feel comfortable talking about everything with her. Should be able to talk intelligently ... no dumb blondes need to apply.
She must have one or more passions, hobbies or interests that she is really into. It doesn't need to be anything I have as a hobby...though shared hobbies would be fun as well. Interest in some form of art is a definite plus.... being artistic is a definite plus plus.
Needs to be balanced in everything and be open to try new things...for.eg. should like staying at home and going out :-). Watch all types of movies (action,comedy,romance) or at least be okay with me watching many car/bike/action movies :-) and be open to listen to a lot of different types of music ... as I do that.
She should be self made in the sense she worked hard through studies (school & college) and got into a job(s) all through her own merit and not because of her parents wealth or connections. She should have experienced ups and downs in life and has learned from it but isn't bitter about life. It could be any type of job with any kind of pay but she should have worked and seen what working life is and not be someone relaxing and killing time on her parents wealth...sorry Im not rich and cant offer such luxuries :-) so she should identify with a regular working bloke as me. She should be able to balance her work and still have time for fun ... something I have trouble with :-).
She is allowed to have a couple of irrational fears and worries(who doesn' have these) but in general should be a realist in facing what life throws at her ..being able to rationalize what comes her way and not go around trying to fool herself and others that everything is ok when it is not or that everything is messed up when it is in fact ok. Should be able to ask for help when needed.
Looks- yes looks are important .... my requirement here is that the person has no missing human features AND looks good :-) to ME. I don't care what the rest of the world may think about her looks ...but she should look nice to me. She should be comfortable in her own appearance and not rely too much on camouflage like makeup :-). Some amount of makeup is fine but pancake type makeup is a no-no.
Must have similar beliefs about religion, family values etc. No fanatics need apply ... everything in moderation always.

This tag chain will be broken in the sense I cant think of anyone who is still single(dont want to get the married folks in trouble) and hasnt asnwered this already.

PS: I have finally met "her" (someone who met and exceeded my 8 points listed above) . Her name is "T". We are getting engaged in April and married in July (since the folks came to know about it... we cant elope :-( ) we have to wait it out ). So am really busy with work and getting all the prep for the engagement and wedding and of course spending as much time as possible with her :-) .

Thanks again Quills because while I was thinking of posting this in January I was able to realise I knew exactly what I was looking for and that I also knew exactly the person who exceeded these requirements of mine.

"T" this post is dedicated to you ....as it is about you. Am very happy to have met you and I do believe meeting you is one of the best things that has happenned to me in a long time. I had this in my mind for a long time ...and had even typed this out in January ... didnt post it till now.

Exit Loneliness @WWW

2006-01-17T21:55:00.000-08:00

An interesting and sad article from the Economic Times. It talks about how older people have become adept at using the WWW to keep loneliness at bay.

As much as the older folk pretend that they are fine with their living conditions there is no denying the fact that they miss their children who are "well settled" abroad in high paying jobs. These parents make do with the support of their local relatives, friends and neighbors and of course now the WWW.

To the dude who bought his father a laptop computer and his equally cool sister who bought their dad computer course material ... its a decent gift and must have cost a pretty packet and all that but it doesn’t replace being there with the folks and making sure they are doing okay specially in their old age when health issues begin to take over. Sending email and calling a couple of times a week do not suffice! I know I have no details of the reasons for the kids to be away from their parents but I still think it is not right to leave ones parents alone especially in their old age and that too several continents away.

Other countries may do things differently but I have seen how pathetic life is for people living in old-age/retirement homes (both in India and abroad). I agree old people can be cranky and difficult but the answer is not as simple as putting them in a home as soon as they cross 70 yrs in age. They need their privacy and freedom as everyone else but also need a lot of support of the emotional kind and not just the monetary kind at their age.

Category: brain drain rant

More Poos Padams

2006-01-17T20:42:00.000-08:00

Coming up with titles is increasingly difficult so am re-hashing my old post title. These were shot at home in Chennai:

(Clicking on the photos opens up larger copies)

Category: Photo Flower Macro

Landscape Photos

2006-01-17T20:25:00.000-08:00

Thought I would start my first post for 2006 on a positive note. The following are two of several pictures I took when I went to California in 2003 (I went only because my close friend Rajesh & his wife Padmaja insisted).I have to thank them once again for taking me to such awesome places and for their amazing hospitality when I was there.

There was an end of year photo contest for our division at work and ... I got first place for these two photos (luckily the theme was natural beauty and since the only restriction was that the photos should have been taken by the person submitting them it was good for me). The prize was a gift receipt for a local restaurant. I did get a kick out of the fact that finally I won something for my photos.

(Clicking on the photos open up larger versions)

Category: Photo

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2005-12-19T21:36:00.000-08:00

If you have worked in IT Consulting you will realise the following answer to a simple question could have only been answered by an over priced consultant from one of the Big Five Consulting companies (PWC,Anderson,KPMG,CGEY,D&T). I use the following also as a cheat sheet when responding to RFPs where I need to use big fancy words.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening it's dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Big Five Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking it's physical distribution strategy and implementation process. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Big Five helped the chicken use it's skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chickens people, processes and technology in support of it's overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Big Five Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Big Five consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.

Category: Software Industry Humour

Project Management Proverbs

2005-12-19T03:12:00.000-08:00

This has been out on the net for years but came across it again today. The IT Project Management Proverbs I & II. Of these I liked the following the most:

Any project can be estimated accurately (once it's completed).
The most valuable and least used WORD in a project manager's vocabulary is "NO".
The most valuable and least used PHRASE in a project manager's vocabulary is "I don't know".
Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.
You can con a sucker into committing to an impossible deadline, but you cannot con him into meeting it.
At the heart of every large project is a small project trying to get out.
Too few people on a project can't solve the problems - too many create more problems than they solve.
A change freeze is like the abominable snowman: it is a myth and would anyway melt when heat is applied.
A user is somebody who tells you what they want the day you give them what they asked for.
What you don't know hurts you.
A badly planned project will take three times longer than expected - a well planned project only twice as long as expected.
It takes one woman nine months to have a baby. It cannot be done in one month by nine women.
Fast - cheap - good: you can have any two.
Good project management is not so much knowing what to do and when, as knowing what excuses to give and when.
If everything is going exactly to plan, something somewhere is going massively wrong.
For a project manager overruns are as certain as death and taxes.
Some projects finish on time in spite of project management best practices.
Good project managers admit mistakes: that's why you so rarely meet a good project manager.
There is such a thing as an unrealistic timescale. The more ridiculous the deadline the more money will be wasted trying to meet it.
The first 90% of a project takes 10% of the time the last 10% takes the other 90%.
The project would not have been started if the truth had been told about the cost and timescale.
To estimate a project, work out how long it would take one person to do it then multiply that by the number of people on the project.
When the weight of the project paperwork equals the weight of the project itself, the project can be considered complete.
There is no such thing as scope creep, only scope gallop - Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.
If project content is allowed to change freely the rate of change will exceed the rate of progress.
If you can interpret project status data in several different ways, only the most painful interpretation will be correct.
A project gets a year late one day at a time.
If you're 6 months late on a milestone due next week but nevertheless really believe you can make it, you're a project manager.
No project has ever finished on time, within budget, to requirement - yours won't be the first to.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
If an IT project works the first time, it is wrong.
The person who says it will take the longest and cost the most is the only one with a clue how to do the job.
Difficult projects are easy, impossible projects are difficult, miracles are a little trickier.

Category: Software Industry Project Management

IT Widows & Widowers & Orphans

2005-12-09T18:53:00.000-08:00

Another article that talks about the impact of the IT industry work style and its impact on the family of the person working in IT. This is from "The Hindu"'s "Speak Out" column that appears in the Saturday paper.

[QUOTE] I'm a mother of two. Most of the time, I find myself playing substitute father, since my husband not only works late, but is often away on tours as well. If anyone can offer tips on how the family can manage both work and home, they would be appreciated.[/QUOTE]

I believe this article speaks out about the general lifestyle of people working in IT and more specifically the men who end up choosing work over families. Am not sayint that there arnt women who end up choosing work over families but just the sheer ratios of men to women working in IT results in more men spending more time at work. End result the family suffers with the spouse being an "IT Widow" akin to a "Golf Widow" where the husband spends all his time playing golf. Here instead the husband spends all his time at work or working from home or being away from home for work. Am sure the phenomenon of an "IT Widower" exists where the husband works in a non-IT field and doesnt get to see much of the IT wife.

Compared to being an IT Widow or Widower I believe there is one thing worse. IT would be an IT Orphan. This can be best explained with the following true example. A couple works in the same software company. Both are at a pretty senior level and have a small son. The poor kid spends most of his time with either his grandparents or uncles/aunts as his parents are usually travelling or working late. At any given time I have not heard of the parents being in the same city at the same time for more than a couple of days and during those days they are invariably working late. This poor kid is the "IT Orphan" who has parents who can spend a lot of money on him whenever needed but cannot afford to spend time with him. Time which is much more precious than money !

Solutions are needed and quickly for the sake of the Widows/Widowers and Orphans.

Category: Software-Industry

IT Life - Words & Phrases

2005-12-08T22:44:00.000-08:00

These words/phrases have been overused by people I worked with/for and are related to software projects I have worked on and had the responsibility to work on it myself or had to get someone else to resolve the issues. In all cases the problems were so many and so severe that if it was possible I would like to have the associated words totally banned or use alternatives or invent some kind of filter (on my ears) as I would prefer to not hear these words or phrases ever again. Each time I hear these words I remember the not so distant past where I heard these words over and over and over and over and over again. The list is chronologically ordered but not in any particular magnitude of hatred. The list also shows the progression and changes in what I used to do and what I do now.

1. JScript
2. JavaScript
3. ASP
4. Website Link Checker
5. Word Wrap
6. AutoCAD Viewer
7. File Formats
8. DWF, DXF, DWG
9. Out Of Memory
10. Applet
11. Application
12. AWT
13. Swing
14. Category
15. Transformation - Staging Transformation, Structural Transformation, Behavioral Transformation.
16. Object-To-Relational Mapping
17. Database Error
18. Gemstone
19. Process Costing
20. Performance Tuning
21. Dispatcher
22. Stuck Purchase Order (PO)
23. Stuck Pricing Request (PR)
24. Supplier
25. Buysite
26. Marketsite
27. Page Cannot Be Displayed
28. Workflow
29. Pager
30. On Call
31. 24x7 Support
32. Production Critical Application
33. Serial
34. Parallel
35. Severity
36. Priority
37. Outage Report
38. Issue
39. Escalation
40. Level One Help Desk
41. Ticket
42. Bug
43. Enhancement
44. Release Notes
45. Smart-Form
46. Meet-Me-Line
47. How is it going?
48. Conference Call
49. Root Cause Analysis
50. Preventive Action
51. Weekly Status Meeting
52. Daily Noon Status Meeting
53. Seebeyond EWay
54. Broker
55. Adapter
56. Re-process Error File
57. MJQ
58. JMA
59. Catalog Load Problem
60. Long Running Report
61. Tornado
62. Virtual
63. Advisor
64. Voice
65. Recognition
66. Prompt
67. Text-to-Speech(TTS)
68. Business Requirements
69. System Requirements
70. Requirements Traceability Matrix
71. Test Cases
72. Disaster Recovery Planning
73. Go-No-Go Meetings
74. Tollgates
75. Block-Point-Release
76. Project Plan
77. Testing Plan
78. Testing Strategy
79. QA Review
80. Automated Testing
81. Use Cases
82. Swim Lane
83. Design Document
84. Change Request
85. Auto - Diagnostic Trouble Code (DTC)
86. Oil Life
87. Odometer
88. Trigger
89. File Format
90. Data Sharing Agreement
91. Schema (XSD)
92. Integration/System Testing
93. Bag-Phone
94. GPS
95. Fixed Bid
96. Request-For-Proposal
97. Proposal Response
98. Estimation Methodology
99. Effort
100. Middleware
101. Schedule
102. Transition Plan
103. Quality Plan
104. Automotive Warranty
105. White-paper
106. BPEL
107. Data Model
108. Design Review
109. SQLJ
110. Firewall
111. Secure-ID
112. Quality Assurance
113. Monthly Audit
114. Process Audit
115. Just like that Audit
116. Audit Finding
117. Audit Observation
118. Non-Compliance
119. Monthly Metrics
120. Resource
121. Revenue
122. Forecast
123. Target
124. Defect
125. Tracking
126. Appraisal
127. Feedback
128. Goal Setting
129. Billing
130. Invoices
131. High Priority Issue
132. Status Report
133. Change Request
134. SMART Goals
135. Working Weekend
136. Comp Off

I feel much better now that I have listed out these words. I cannot expect people to not use words on the list but don’t think I can ever get used to them getting repeated over and over and over.

Category:Software Industry Rant

Padams of Poos

2005-12-07T09:55:00.000-08:00

I think these are lillies - let me know if they are something else. Taken this morning in a sudden burst of enthu. The watchman gave me a weird look as he couldnt figure out what I was upto so early in the morning.

Category:
Photo
Macro
Flower

How long does it take to count 38000 characters one character at a time ?

2005-12-05T04:53:00.000-08:00

One of the guys working on my team (called V) came across an error while putting together a query for generating a report. Trying to figure out the error message he sends out a note to internal experts of the reporting tool (Business Objects - hilariously referred to as BO in short. In the past I have heard of people comment about someone elses BO but that was in a more personal sense :-) )asking for help. Someone well versed in BO :-) writes back that the tool supports auto-generated queries of a maximum length of 65536 characters. Luckily I was talking to V on the phone and also had netmeeting running where I could see his desktop and other sample reports he had developed. I was shown the email from the BO expert :-) in response to his plea for help. I suggested V check the number of characters of the query. I hear V give a big sigh. I didnt understand why he was sighing. I heard him say "I need to count the characters of this query" in a quizzical way. I go whats the big deal, copy it from the reporting tool, paste it into word and then you can get the counts. I saw him copy paste from the tool to word. Then I was shocked speechless when I hear him mumble 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8...... all the while moving the cursor in word a character at a time ! I was so shocked by this that by the time I could croak out a "V what are you doing ?" , V had already reached ....31,32,33 and was begining to go strong . Phew ! I told him to stop what he was doing and showed him the magic of Tools-> Word Count in Word and voila ...we see 38560 characters and change. V was very relieved and sounded very sheepish :-). I was more relieved as I had just saved atleast an hour of Vs time today if not more...he could have counted all the way to 15000 and then lost count and then started again or worse still taken all night to work on counting the characters ! I wish people would think a little before doing stuff like this.

To answer the question in the post title: I didnt get to find out but I know it took V almost 1 second per character. It took Microsoft word less than 1 second to count 38000 characters.

Category: Humour Rant

Battle Scarred Survivor of IT - II

2005-12-02T04:43:00.000-08:00

The following are comments on the article I identified with so much I felt the need to save them out separately. The first one in particular echoes my feelings so much I was shocked I was reading something written by a total stranger as me and a colleague have had the same conversation several times. We didn’t win several proposals this year because we tried to factor in the fact that aggressive schedules end up burning out the team. Other companies won the projects just because they offered lower rates and shorter schedule durations. The technical solutions were not even considered.

“I work for one of the big Indian I.T. companies. When I used to toil for 14 hours a day 6.5 days a week in India, I used to think that when I run things, things will be very different. That the estimates will be realistic and every body will work normal hours. When I got a chance to bid for projects and prepare proposals for clients in the U.S., I could see the root of the problem. It starts right from the moment when the customer asks for a proposal. There is intense competition amongst vendors (most of who are based in India) With little difference among them; the lowest cost becomes the clincher. My efforts to push back on ridiculous estimates resulted in only one thing – loss of opportunity for my company. The competing rival was more than happy take the opportunity since he did not mind making his people toil to produce results. With a number of Indian vendors cutting each other throat alongside the emergence of software factories in China, Eastern Europe, South America I do not see a realistic solution to this problem at this juncture. There will always be some one on the globe willing to work hard for a “lot of money” (from relative perspective). Things like pushing back and learning to say a “plain no” are not likely to produce long lasting results. “

“Here's a tip for any company in the west planning to outsource to India. If you feel that a project can be completed in 6 weeks by 4 people, always demand that it be completed in 2 weeks by 3 people.”

“Companies need to stop hiding behind the excuse that the time difference between India and the west is the reason why people need to stay in office for 14 hours a day. Staying late should be a negative thing that should work against an employee in his appraisals. Never complement someone for staying till midnight or working 7 days a week .”

“If time estimates go wrong, the company should be willing to take a hit and not force the employee to work crazy hours to bail projects out of trouble. This will ensure that the estimates made for the next project are more real and not just what the customer has asked for.”

“The solution is changing the dimensions of the competition. Innovation is the key. When employees come up with ideas to improvise on the work, we need to listen to them and see if there is any merit. We need to commit time and energy to this cause. That's what Kaizen and CMM's level 5 are all about, but do we really implement them seriously? “

“I have seen many young employees staying back at work not necessarily because they have extra work thrust upon them, but just because they have nothing better to do. I think this culture of staying late has been the handiwork of (at least some if not most of) the employees as much as it has been a creation of business requirement for some organisations. “

“I would also put some blame on the employees also. To my experience many of the employees working on the project are technically incompetent, as a result they can not apply or use the technology to the fullest and in the most effective way. The saddest part though is many of them don't consciously take any effort to improve it also.”

“The problem is that the industry neither grooms its developers to become PMs nor facilitates successful PMs from non-Technical background to fit into their new role. The non technical type of PM fails mostly because of the Technical leads who see him as a challenger to their career and ensure that he fails. The organizations also do not recognize this as a cultural issue and try to resolve it.”

“If we try to say something about this to our seniors we are immediately labeled as the ones having an attitude problem! That affects appraisals and salary. Those who play TT in afternoon but sit till 1 in the night are given promotion because seniors see them sit till 1 in night. The hours one sits in the office has suddenly become a scale for how much hard working one is rather than seeing his productivity. “

“I used to go home by 6 am early morning, and be back by 12 noon. This has continued around for more than 6 months. Its like zero invention time. Most of the work that was done during night was scrapped and there was lot of rework.”

“So, the US is great work place? Think again. The IT dept in US are full of politics and cover-your ### attitude. All the glory is taken by the boss and the #### are passed to the guy at the bottom of the food chain... “

“I don't know about Google/ Yahoo, etc. but almost all Indian software firms seem to follow the sweat shop model. The general steps are: 1. Get a project by promising everything the client wants. 2. Assign an impossible schedule to the developer (forget Analysis, Design and start coding ASAP, SDLC be damned). 3. Frown upon any employee that leaves the office on time and wants 5 days a week. 4. Forget innovation, copy paste any code you need to meet the insane schedule. 5. Failure to meet the schedule or bugs reported by the client results in more reprimands. “

“Most of the times the deadlines can be satisfied, if we do quality work for 10 hrs (instead of 8 hr.) and maybe on sat. also, in some extreme cases.”

“As for the new generation earning more money - it is just an illusion. When I started working at the age of 23, my dad and I had the same paycheck. However he lived in a huge house given by his employer, all utilities were payed by the employer, and his pension was the last paycheck that he drew, which needless to say is substantial. If I factor all that in, I made considerably less than he did.”

”Software, being intangible, it is not possible to fix a schedule at the beginning of the project and then try and stick to it. The schedule should always be in a process of modification as the project progresses. *This* is what managers' just don't understand. How can you predict when this project shall end, when so many undefined variables are there? “

To wrap up, here is some humor: “How To Interpret Employment Ads”

“Join Our Fast Paced Company” - We have no time to train you.
“Casual Work Atmosphere” - We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up.
“Must be Deadline Oriented” - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.
“Some Overtime Required” - Some time each night, some time each weekend.
“Duties will Vary” - Anyone in the office can boss you around.
“Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience” - You will need to replace three people who just left.
“Problem Solving Skills a Must” - You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos. Haven’t heard a word from anyone out there. Your first task is to find out what is going on.
“Requires Team Leadership Skills” - You will have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.
“Good Communication Skills” - Management communicates poorly, so you have to figure out what they want and do it.

Battle Scarred Survivor of IT - I

2005-12-02T04:36:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Echo for a link and post to a very interesting article which is very close to my heart. I have spent several years as a developer and a couple of years as a team leader and now most recently as project manager. Having seen all hours of the day and night at work over several different projects at several different clients this article wasn’t too much of a surprise to me as I have seen all of this happen in different ways in different forms. I feel I have survived many battles in the field but keep wondering how many more I can take before it gets to be too much.

This post is split into two sections. This is part one and contains my thoughts and rants, while part two contains some comments from the post that made me write this up. Most of my thoughts attempt to give the project managers side of the problem.

********Also before people take offense these are my views and experiences and there will always be exceptions to the rule. So un-ruffle those ruffled fluffy feathers my fine feathered friends. ******************

I have spent sleepless nights/days/weeks/weekends in Indian and multinational companies with 50, 5000, 25000, 150000 and 300000 employees with bosses who are Indian, American, European and Chinese. This problem I feel has nothing to do with whether you are working for a small/large or Indian/Multinational company and regardless of the nationality of your boss.

Only in one company in Chennai did I not have to work beyond 7 PM and even the 7 PM deadline was caused because I was a new driver and didn’t want to drive in evening rush hour traffic. The other difference of that company with all the others was that it was a product development company and I was working on developing a software product. All the other companies I worked for have been in software consulting roles.

In my experience the problem starts with the sales teams who over hype everything and promise way more than is practical to the clients. The proposal writing process(there is enough for a separate post on this topic) is made interesting by a game of role playing that is done. In the game the software development gurus/studs/studdettes & project management gurus/studs/ studdettes of the organization are looked up on the internal skills database and their resumes obtained so as to make the proposal more believable that we have skilled people available to work on the project as soon as we win it. Incredible amounts of time are spent on deciding what role to fit the studs/gurus when the project is won. Finally by some complex decision trees this is also decided. In all reality the gurus/studs will be already allocated to projects from which they are not likely to be released.

The problem of people having to live at work is also caused by clients who are not clear about their requirements. They expect you to accurately estimate the effort required to put together a system which you have never built before. Estimation models can be used for this but there are limits to the accuracy of UCP, FP, COCOMO or whatever other methodology/tool that could be used. The limitation is typically the human factor. Regardless of what your estimates using the estimation model say, the actual parameters used for implementing the project such as the skillset and experience of the people working on the project are never usually factored in. Their commitment to diligently working on project work cannot accurately be measured either. So this makes the estimate plain worthless. Estimates also go based on skeletal information available and not concrete details. Projects won on Fixed Bid cost are a sure fire way for disaster as the client can afford to be lax with conducting their requirements clarification sessions and also with their acceptance of the final application. In my view estimates should be done only for coding effort only when the design is completed. Hopefully by then all requirements would be clarified.

The sales people who want to quickly make the deal usually agree to the “aggressive but do-able” schedule. They win the deal, spend company money celebrating and then inform the offshore team what the schedule is. Even teams working on the proposal from the offshore centers are typically kept in the dark about what is finally submitted as part of the proposal. Offshore teams at this point have two choices: take it or leave it. The team usually ends up taking it as there is no other work around or there is pressure from above to do so. So even before starting the fate of the project is sealed. Major offerings of Nights and weekends of the team members are sacrificed at the altars of “profitability” and “utilization” and “strategic clients” with “critical projects”. Additional offerings of the personal lives of software employees are offered at the other minor deities shrines of “CMMI Quality Initiatives”, “ISO Initiatives”, “BS7799”

The people who end up working on the projects are usually the ones who are available at the time the project is won. Some (usually a lot) may be new recruits who have no clue about the company processes like the quality initiatives etc. That is okay provided they have the skills required. Ha ha! They may not even have the skills required. Skills can be obtained through training right? Wrong. There is only so many things you can teach a person in the available timeframe so it usually ends up being a “here is the overview you should be able to pick the rest up as you go along” approach. If the available experienced staff are considered to be much better, think again. The only reason they are available is because their prior management didn’t want them. The really good experienced resources are usually kept busy and never learn the meaning of words like “Bench” or “Beach” (the Americanism of the bench) as applied to the software industry. If you have been a good manager in your past birth you may get a couple of team members who have the skills and the experience(either/or conditions need to be applied here) in some portions of each). The manager hopes to run the project banking on the strengths of these “key” people. Little does the manager know that the people he was counting on are just good actors who act like they are competent but in reality are as bad as the rest.

When the project starts off things seem nice, and the project manager vows (dreams) to run at-least this project differently from the last one where he had to work late and burn himself and the team trying to deliver on an “aggressive” schedule. Things have started to go downhill from the beginning. How ? With the whole onsite-offshore way of development, there is a short period where one or more “key/lead” members are sent onsite to figure out what the hell the client really meant when they floated the project request for proposal. This is the time where the people onsite clarify the minor gaps in the understanding of the project. J After a couple of days the originally expected minor gaps are now revised to be huge honking gaps in understanding that rival the size of the death valley. The estimates are at this point not worth the paper they may be printed on and the project is soon officially behind schedule just within a week of starting. Their covers of being smart and capable being blown wide open in front of the client, the people sent onsite tend to flake out and either have one or more nervous breakdowns. They are now capable of only simple tasks such as forwarding email, browsing the net and fetching coffee.

The project manager offshore starts working on developing an ulcer and has facial features that now resemble a mix between a condemned man and a lunatic. The condemned man is the realist/pessimist who knows that there is no way the project can be delivered in time with the understanding of the actual scope and scale of the project. The lunatic part is the eternal optimist who believes there is some loophole in the space time continuum that could result in the project completing on time. The lunatic believes that working longer could help in the search for an elusive wormhole the finding and entering of which allows the completion of the project on time. If the project manager is lucky his prayers for a heart attack are answered and he can rest for a bit. Otherwise it is the same grind trying to motivate the team, trying to find ways to get out of the rut and keep the project “back on track” behind schedule.

The team gamely struggles on trying to wrap their sleep deprived (from their last project) brains around the new business scenarios and terms that are totally unfamiliar to them. Some actually need dictionaries to understand the meaning of some terms. The ones that seem to understand the process flow shake their heads like they understand completely and then end up coding something that doesn’t behave anywhere similar to the original requirements. They then try to justify their mistake by coming up with reasons like “its okay if this doesn’t work that way, we can always teach the users to change their process”. Answers like that make me want to $!$!#@$# the person (don’t ask me what that meant). But of course you have to reason it out with them nice and politely why they need to change their code to make it work the way it should have.

Sometimes people do things to ensure they work late. One example is to come in late and then take a breakfast break and then a horu long lunch. Of course you could also do things like wipe out source code you worked on for over a day without checking it in, delete all requried data for testing, keep running code with infinite loops on shared servers to make sure everyones work is affected. Other options include changing the data types on shared code without reason causing compilation errors for the entire team, changing the signatures of key interfaces :-).

Having to talk to the onsite counterpart when you come in first thing in the morning and also as the last thing you do in the evening is another reason for the long hours. My suggestion for this is to cut down on these calls to make them once a day and also split the days so that the onsite person stays up late for a couple of days while the offshore person works late a couple of days. The avoided call can be replaced with well detailed and clear instructions in email/voicemail.

Change demands (also called “requests” in politically correct terms). These are requirements that the client business very conveniently forgot to mention up front when the project estimates were done. This has now resulted in an almost fully developed application that either cannot work in a real world business scenario or would mess things up so badly in the real world scenario that it would result in the dismissal of the person providing the requirements the first time around. These changes are unavoidable and usually expected to be handled within the existing “aggressive” timeline.

A myth has been going around about a project manager who was able to negotiate with the client for an increased cost for the project and for an extension of the schedule. In the myth there was no onsite counterpart. Most of the people who work onsite seemed to have contracted a particularly rare disease called “Spinelessnessitis” where the actual backbone disappears over time and they are unable to use the words of “not possible”, “we require an extension of schedule”, “we have to charge extra” with the clients. These individuals are thus unable to stand up straight and speak up to the clients demands and state the obvious fact of “this is just not possible in this timeframe”.

Onsite counterparts at times tend to be worse than the client when it comes to making unreasonable demands that result in people having to stay late. They usually commit to delivering work overnight when in reality it would take more than a day to do. All they need to do is use the reply of “I will check with the offshore team and get back to you” to the client instead of saying things like “sure we can build a whole new stock exchange system by tomorrow morning”. For those of you that don’t understand the meaning of the word “sarcasm” this past sentence I hope would be a good example. I havnt been asked to do such things but the general idea of “urgent requests” still stays the same. When the offshore manager tries to protect his team by not giving in to their outrageous demands, they all vomit the words of “I commited to deliver this to the client and will have to face them”. J . The offshore manager at this time has to use the sentence of “you committed to it not us – you deliver it” and walk away.

More than racial discrimination I felt there has been a lot of discrimination against the single people. I have seen many bosses pile work up on the bachelors as they don’t have a family, they can take on more work and stay late/ work on weekends. The married ones of course have to tend to demands of family. What happened to equal opportunity employment? Married ones may feel the problem of people staying late is due to the bachelors staying late. But from where I have been I was forced to stay late as everyone else had a life to get to.

Working on Mondays is a total farce especially when you work for clients in the USA/UK. They work on Friday and expect you to get stuff done by working on Saturday India time. That is okay provided the people who need to do that can take Monday off. The management of the Indian companies expects people to do a Monday-Friday + Saturday + Sunday week. So people end up coming to work on Mondays don’t have anything specific to do and end up doing nothing much all day.

The other irritant is the great distance to travel outside the city where IT companies in Chennai have built their larger facilities. This kills a good hour in the morning and at-least another hour in the evening. The bus facilities provided are also of the brain dead variety. The bus services are scheduled to reach the office at 9-9.30 in the morning and leave between 6.30 and 7 in the evening. Cut service buses run between 8.30 and 9 pm. People who typically end up having to work late have to use the cab drop service that starts only at 9.30 and will reach home only at 11-12 at night depending on the routes followed. Regardless of the time one reaches home one has to start back at the same time the next day. People are usually so sleep deprived that by the time they wake up its time to go home.

I feel that User Acceptance testing should be conducted on a time and materials basis so that the clients do their testing and acceptance quickly rather than come up with changes at the late stage of the project.

Clients usually demand an aggressive (meant unrealistic) estimate. Nine out of ten times the date by which they want the application is just a date that has no business impact as is evident when the actual date comes around and the clients don’t seem to be in any rush to use the spanking new application. Clarify the dates they ask for right at the begining is also key to making sure your team is not burned out without reason. Actually no reason is good enough to burn people out working days and nights.

Category: Rants
Software-Industry

Broader Banded By Bharti

2005-11-16T09:50:00.000-08:00

After months of procrastinating(11 to be precise - I had inquired with Airtel last December) I finally moved myself to fill out a form for BSNL DataOne. But of course it got rejected as the phone at my residence is currently under an official name rather than a personal one. BSNL requires a mountain of paperwork to believe that I wanted a connection at a residence due to the name the phone was registered to. I thought it should be easier to get a new phone line. HA ! The forms one had to fill in for this were as long as the ones to apply for a visa to the USA. So I gave up on BSNL. Then there was a period where both machines I have at home crashed at the same time and so spent time getting them fixed. To-date only one has been fixed. Of course the older, slower machine works now while the newer faster fancier PC sits unused suffering from an as yet undiagnosed affliction.

I saw some ads in the paper about Airtel offering a 5 GB connection for Rs. 500 a month and was curious. Looked up the net and of course their plans haven't been updated. But I saw something I liked "Unlimited 256 Kbps for 999 a month". I called Airtel last Wednesday and asked for a new unlimited connection("Home 900" plan in Airtel speak). I would need a new phone line from Airtel. I was resigned to getting yet another phone connection. I was given a reference number and that within 48 hours someone would call me. 48 hours go by and on Thursday I call Airtel as Mr Someone still has not called me. Ms Airtel tells me that Mr Someone would call later in the day. Mr Someone calls on my home number and of course I am at work. Where else would I be during the daytime on a weekday ? They are told to call me on my mobile but they don't call.

I call back the next day and then was told to wait for someone to call. I finally get the call and think they will stop by home and drop off any forms I need to fill. But no ...They want to meet me in person to fill the forms due to some 'formality'. I haven't understood what that means till now. To add to the mess I didn't have an address proof of my current residence as it is a temporary residence. Luckily I have address proof that is in the same city. Airtel seems to be okay with that and will send the bills there but provide a connection to my temp residence. Also the rep seemed to be okay to show up

at my place as late as 10 PM if needed. Was given an estimate of between 3 days to 10 days.

Since I don't have a life and got home late at night on Friday(not out partying ..just working late), I asked the Airtel rep to come home at 8:30 am on Saturday morning with the forms. He did show up just a couple of minutes later than 8:30 am. I was amazed. Got the forms filled in and Rs. 500 paid for registration charges.

I got the new phone line on Monday evening (the house already had Airtel cabling so it didn't take much time to get the new phone line installed) and was told another person would install the modem within a day. I got a call on Tuesday evening asking if they can come over to install the modem. No one was available at home on Tuesday so I asked them to come on Wednesday after 8:30. The rep squawks for a bit before he realizes I meant 8:30 in the morning. Predictably they call at 9:30 on Wednesday (today) and then come over and fix up the modem in 10 minutes. I am now on the net at high speed :-) and with no limits :-) all a little over a week after ince I applied.

So so far the whole Airtel experience has been good. Shall keep updating the whole new connection saga as it progresses.

Mangoes

2005-11-13T10:13:00.000-08:00

Reading Megnut's posts on mangoes over the past couple of days had me reminiscing about my childhood/youth in Chennai and its connection with Mangoes. Our home in Chennai used to have three mango trees. The largest tree was about as old as the house itself and was close to around thirty years old. It was taller than the first floor of the house and its branches were as wide as the width of the house. In its non flowering months it provided a glorious shade to the house from the harsh Sun that would cover the Eastern face of the house. Afternoons and evenings could be spent in its shade even in the middle of summer! A tall glass of cold juice by my side, a good book to read, sprawled-relaxed in a cane chair was the way I spent many a summer afternoon when there was not much else to do. Shade wise the other two trees were of not much help as they were on the north-western side of the house.

April, May and June were the months I loved the most due to the summer vacations and more so because our star performer the 30 year old tree bore fruit during these months. The fruit was in a word glorious! An exotic mix of the Bhaganapalli and some other mango type they were large(always larger than two fists held together), colored perfectly yellowish orange when ripe, spot free, had a minimum of fiber and the maximum possible amount of flesh I have seen on a mango. I have not had mangoes as tasty as them ever.

Every summer the bountiful tree bore fruit that matured in three batches so we had them plucked in three batches. Each batch easily contained around 400 mangoes. At home we had my parents, grandmother, my sister and me. Though we would have loved to try there was no way we were eating 1200 mangoes in under two months. So we would give them away to whoever came home, to friends, relatives, neighbors and employees. We used to be really popular among the people of my colony in summer.

The two months our fridge would be full of mangoes in various forms: raw & ripe fruit, raw mango chutney, mango pickles (different types including a sweet mango pickle) mango juice concentrate, mango juice, mango jam, mango ice-cream. Mangoes would make their way into every dish. I was on a two to three mango a day diet. Needless to say mangoes in such large quantities would fight with my adolescent hormones for priority in erupting as acne on my face.

I was a happy person the day I was taught how to cut a mango by my grandmother - The four cuts that separate the flesh from the seed. I needed to be shown the way to do it just once.
. Mallus will recognize the words Metha-pool(fleshy side) and Chagiri-pool(fibrous side) and the way to eat it. Of course this method of four cuts is for the non-formal way to eat a mango …basically with your hands. Yes, yes clean hands and fingernails are essential for this as well. Not for me the niceties of eating mangoes with forks. What am I …American ? I am 100% Mallu even though I didn’t grow up in Mallu-land.

Sadly the joy of having fresh mangoes was not to last forever. Even though we were liberal in giving away the fruit to people, there were many greedy people staying in that area who felt they could jump over the walls of our home and steal anything and everything they could under the pretext that they were plucking mangoes. After several rounds of broken window panes, stolen household items and yelling matches at the ruffians we gave up and gave in. The local ruffians had no fear of our dog or our servants either. Finally one day the trees were cut down. No more mangoes, no more shade.

Filed Under: Memories

Sushil != Sashil

2005-11-11T22:29:00.000-08:00

I had submitted the link I had posted earlier on how cars are made to Autoblog as a tip. They did put it up on their site yesterday(TGIF: Visit to a virtual automotive plant - Autoblog - www.autoblog.com ). They murdered my first name though.

This lead me to think of what I have been called so far. I am not naming any of the unprintable names I have been called but just the basic butchering of my name.
For the non software types "!=" in this post title means "Not Equal to" in the Java language.

I have been called the following so far :

Sushil - This is my name and what I prefer to be called though it is to be pronounced as "Susheel"
Susheel - am okay with this as well ...just dont add too many e's
Shushil - am reluctantly okay with this as well

The following I cannot handle as they are not my name:

Susil
Ceciel
Cecil
Sesil
Soosil
Sooshil/Soosheel
Sushli
Suse
Sushi - the most common
Sushli
Sashil - the newest.

According to Northwest Airlines I am Sushi L. Cherian. They got rid of my real middle initial of J and made seafood out of my first name !

And of course I get called feminine versions of my name when people dont realise I am male or want to have fun with my name:

Sushila
Susheeela

As for my last name (really Cherian - pronounced Che-ri-an with Ch pronounced like the "Ch" in chocolate" )I have been called/emailed the following:

Cerian
Cherryan
Serian
Sorian
Sherian
Sheridan
Sheridian

The most fun we had at work was when a co-worked named Doug received an email to him with a typo in his name from a very serious colleague who referred to him as "Dog" .

I know I know it isnt a big deal but it is a touchy subject when you have to bring it up to people. One has to do it though. Instead of making up a name that is convenient for people like Sam/Jake when your real name is Santhosharajan or Janakiraman ! I have made it so far without having to use a pseudonym. Just that I have to keep reminding people what my name is and how to pronounce and spell it.

Update: Silverines comment reminded me of another screw up that happenned. One of my coworkers got a visa to go to the US. But after getting the visa the person cannot go to the US ! How come ? Because on the visa the embassy decided "she" was a "he" ! So it is now worse than pulling teeth to get that mixup fixed ! People suggested she change from F to M in real life as well or just forget the US trip.

How cars are built.

2005-11-10T23:26:00.000-08:00

I got this link at work and felt is was one of the best and most detailed presentations of vehicle assembly for all those who didn't know and were too shy to ask :-).

Click on the "Virtual Visit of a Plant" link on the
PSA Peugeot Citroen page.

When the Citroens are finally built this is what they do.(Best viewed with audio on). Link from my friend SV.

I want a curry and rice girl ;-) !

2005-11-07T20:23:00.000-08:00

I got this awesome link to a music video in email today (Yes it is safe for work) . Has pretty good dancing ;-) and nice music and it has something for the Lungi aficionados as well. I have heard the song somewhere but cant tell what the original song was. So if you know what it is please let me know.

Rain !

2005-10-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

Reading Aruns post on his drive back yesterday made me remember my drive back from work last night and the coming in to work this morning.

Yesterday was a Holiday for our company. Most sensible people took Monday off and made the most of a five day weekend since Tuesday was a holiday as well. Since I dont belong tp the sensible crowd and due to the way our project is going we had to come in and play the game of catch-up. This game is very difficult to play especially when the weather was what it was yesterday -cold, gloomy and raining non stop. I came in to work around 10.20 in the morning and worked till around 6.30 PM. Heard the rain hit my office window and heard lightling as well and decided to wait for a bit and catch up on some blog reading. Finally headed out at 7.30 PM. The first 5 km was okay with not much water on the roads. But as I headed towards the city I started noticing a lot of standing water on OMR & ECR which had to be navigated slowly like a boat going over rocks. Only thing was I was in a car and didnt have to worry about getting wet but of course had to worry about stalling in the middle of the road in water. No issues till the road connecting the Thiruvanmiyur signal to the Canal bank road. This road had disappeared under water and there were stalled cars and buses there. The road has a central divider which makes sure one cannot turn right and head back. The left half of the road was dug up so one couldnt turn left and head back either. So had to grit my teeth, get the car into first gear and gingerly drive through water that seemed atleast knee deep. Luckily it wasnt that deep, just the dirt and vehicle oil had turned it black. Plus it was dark with no street lights. Made it out in one piece with just problems with the brakes as they were now fully waterlogged. Pumped them till some semblance of brake functionality returned. Another really bad patch was on the Koturpuram road near the planetarium. The last and final and the worst stretch was on the main road just outside of my home.

This morning heading out was crazy. I wanted to turn around and head back to bed but forced myself to stay on the road. Drove (seemed more like boating) through muck starting from just outside the house through to Gemini. I was dreading the two spots where there was a lot of water yesterday but surprisingly they were not waterlogged. Patches of Canal Bank road were submerged and a good distance along ECR as well. The connector between ECR and OMR with water filled, vacant land on both sides of the road . Another foot of water and the road would be covered. The distant skyline was a dark brooding menacing mass of rain filled thunderclouds and the whole horizon as far as I could see was just grey and miserable. I wished I had my camera with me. The view was both beautiful and worrying at the same time.

The worst was yet to come. OMR with all the construction was a pitiful mess with only water and no road. It took close to 40 minutes to cover the distance usually done in 10 minutes. The rain had by now become really heavy and the wipers of not much help. Put on the headlights and just followed a caravan of vehicles slowly making their way down OMR. Office buses decided to be adventurous and drive through the water on the left side of the road totally covering the slow moving vehicles in the center of the road with water. More soggy brakes.
It seemed to take forever driving at around 10 kmph (the car speedo starts at 20kmph - but it felt really slow) till I finally made it in to the office. I reach the covered car park and then realize I dont have an umbrella to go to the next building where I work. So managed to get soaking wet walking to the building in the rain !

Though the rain has not been all that much but still made me stop and think that I am grateful it was not as severe as the ones in the US due to the hurricanes and tornados this year. Really love the cool weather in Chennai due to the rains. Also realize the city needs the rains but wish the heavvy rain part would fall over the catchment areas :-) ...and not mess up ECR and OMR and screw up the commutes of the poor IT sad sacks like me who have to drive/ride/swim to get to work each day.

Filed Under:
memories
driving
chennai
omr
ecr

Busy Me

2005-10-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

Things have been pretty hectic at work with long hours, stress and more stress and juggling innumerable things in the past couple of weeks (work, training,conducting training). The outlook till the end of the year looks pretty bleak with more of the same workload. If I survive that then I think I will have been through yet another PFH (Project From Hell). So far I have already spent 2 yrs on PFH # 1, 3 yrs on PFH#2 , 6 months on PFH #3 and now the latest and current PFH #4. Looking back the first two years of my working career were the best. We were so relaxed at work that we played multiplayer games in the afternoon on the office LAN. Life was just great back then.

Now I spend all day on work and hardly even get to read the news let alone the various blogs I have grown to love. Lets not even mention the non existent personal life. Am glad my folks remember what I look like considering they see me for at most half hour in total each day. Off and on I keep thinking of a line from the new Tata Safari Dicor ad with pictures of people doing what they love ... but of all the images displayed I like the audio background where a guy is standing in a railway station "I always wanted to quit on a Monday morning". Was so tempted to try that. But alas I dont own a Tata Safari so cant do the rest of things displayed in the ad. I also think the Safari's used in the ads would need very expensive servicing/repairs to recover from the brutal treatment given to them.

Anyways I wanted to go in to work this past weekend but was too exhausted to drive the 1 hour to get to work so ended up helping my sister on a photo assignment. We spent all of Saturday morning on it. Since she didnt have a camera we used my digital camera and I managed to get around 50 shots while she took specific ones requried for her assignment. I loved every minute I spent doing that and managed to totally unwind from the stress of work from the prior week. For the first time I had digital pictures printed on photo paper at a friendly neighbourhood Konica and they came out really amazing. Want to get more pictures printed out soon. Hope to do so this wekend.

On Saturday evening I went to see a play, "The Good Person of Mondova" directed by Magic Lantern and performed by WCC students. Was a pretty decent performance and I found it really funny that during one serious court scene, the actors (actresses really) got into a fit of giggles which was becoming contagious. Somehow they managed to restrain themselves and continue with the scene.

Sunday went by with Church in the morning and a nice long nap before lunch. I managed to go to Church wearing a Mundu/a.ka.Veshti/a.ka. Dhoti for the first time ever. I had been gifted a golden creamy coloured Mally style Dhoti with gold thread in it and for some strange reason felt like wearing it. Though I am comfortable wearing the "Color Mundu"(Lungi) at home this was the first ever time I went out wearing a formal Dhoti. My father almost fell out of his chair while having breakfast as he couldnt believe it was me.

Watched Parineeta on VCD in the afternoon. Killed the evening by going to Spencers and wandering through Landmark. Had to of course pig out at Arun Ice creams on the way out.

The "Better" Life in the USA

2005-09-07T02:15:00.000-07:00

I just read an excellent post by Arun. We seem to have very similar throughts and so its no wonder I like reading his blog. I am very glad to find people like Danesh , Arun and Ravi who dont feel that their only goal in life is to go and live in the USA . There arnt too many such people.
I know a lot of other people who feel that they have to go there. They sometimes act like they dont really care about going there but once in a while they make some comment or other that reminds you that they still have delusions of going to the "land of milk and honey". One such person "Y" wasted a couple of hours of my life trying to convince me that life is better in the USA. He has been to a couple of other coutnries but never to the USA. He was going on and on about a common "friend" who was quitting his job in one of India's leading IT firms(actually a globally known brand in IT Consulting) to go join a no-name body shopping company in the USA. Y seemed in awe about the pay packet promised by Mr No-Name Bodyshop consulting to our friend "P". Working through the numbers I was able to inform Y that P would be saving only a few hundred $ a month. It may seem like a large amount when multiplied by 43. Otherwise it is a pittance when you speak only in $s. In terms of % saved I think I am doing way better with my Indian paycheck. Y's best example of the "better life in the USA" was that a middle class person could buy a Toyota Camry in the USA while he couldnt buy a Camry in India. I agree 100% to that, but the difference is that the Camry is treated as a luxury car in India(less available space on the roads so this is a luxury car and is costlier) while it is slightly higher than an economy class car in the USA.
I did go to the USA and spend time there(seemed more like "doing time") but am very happy to be back home with family in my own country. Comfort wise I am not sure about what the USA offers that India doesnt. Only thing I can think of is there is much more of physical space per person. Everything one gets in the USA one gets in India. May not be the same exact brand but very similar. One should get away from being brand crazy as pretty much all branded items now come from India or China anyways. For e.g. Tommy Hilfiger clothes from Ranganathan street in Chennai cost Rs 50 while they cost in excess of $50 in the USA. You think it is a knock off - actually the clothes really are made in India ! All clothes sold by Van-Heusen / Arrow / Louis Phillipe/ Levis / Dockers are all made in India / China/ Pakistan/ Bangladesh. Most of all I missed the feeling of belonging which I have only when I am in India where I can truly say that I belong here and was born here. Staying away from my parents as they grow older was also somthing I cannot stomach and I know that sending money from the USA cannot bridge. But of course that is just me.
The purchasing power of the middle class in India may be different from that in the USA but from experience I know most of the middle class Indians in the USA live more frugally than their Indian counterparts. They still struggle to save money in the USA (which they spend only when they visit India) and live mainly on $1 movie rentals and curd rice for lunch and dinner. Breakfast for them is usuually the complimentary bagels at work ;-). Add to that they have no maids, no cooks,no drivers and most of all no support system from parents/ siblings/relatives. Most spend their weekends salivating at sales in the dollar stores where everythign sells for a dollar. I wonder if the great American Dream many Indians are dreaming about is really worth it. People who are at levels below me in my current company have all of that and more living in India.
I forgot to add the part of people going all the way to0 the USA to then have to work hard to preserve their Indian "culture" and "traditions" by eating only Indian food, going to only Indian events, having only Indian friends and watching Indian movies. These people should just stay in India. They also have to make the obligatory once in two-three year trip to India to complain about how India is hot,dirty, crowded, polluted, third world etc etc. Most come with sun-block to prevent their delicate BROWN/BLACK skin from becoming sun-burnt ;-). When I hear the dialogue of the litany of probvlems of India I think I would prefer to have a one time deportation of all the people who want to go to the USA so that the ones who want to stay in India can be left in peace. Ones that come back on visits just to complain should be banned from entering the country/ making calls to India/emailing people in India. They can come back in if they have anything constructive to do to remedy the problems they speak of non-stop. But of course it is just so much easier to complain and then go away.
I have to work on this some more as there are other points I think I am missing.

Updates:
7-9-05 2:45 PM : I also want to state that I hate the way people "come down" as in "he came down from New York" to visit India. India isnt that low down. Antartica maybe one can go down to.

I also hate being asked when I will be going back to the USA. Just because I was there for a bit it doesnt mean I have to/or will go back there again.

India Donates Money to USA

2005-09-07T01:52:00.000-07:00

A writeup from India News Agency detailing why India shouldnot have donated money. WOW !!! I stopped reading after the part where India donated 5 million dollars towards relief for Katrina victims.

Mallu Naming Convention

2005-09-01T01:27:00.000-07:00

The secret to how Mallus name their children has been leaked out . A Very funny post I came across.

What can you do in 4 days ?

2005-08-31T07:31:00.000-07:00

Apologies in advance for a long post.

This is a deep and serious subject. I had to put together a presentation on what I would do if I knew I had four days to live as part of a workshop I attended recently. I struggled initially but finally when it was done there was a feeling of great calm as I know what to do if I have only 4 days left to live.

This is what I came up with:

Day 4:
I will initially spend some time to decide how to handle the next 4 days.

I don’t want pity or sadness around me. I cannot afford to let anyone know that I have 4 days. People will get all teary eyed around me. I have decided I will not be getting in touch with any of my exes. I don’t think I could handle that.

I wont do drugs alcohol as I want to experience and savour every minute I have and not blur it in a haze of booze or drugs. I may take up smoking though. Maybe I wont.

I will eat only ice-cream, sweets and chocolates, biryani, kababs and drink only soft drinks, milkshakes. I will refuse to eat fruits and vegetables ;-).

I will spend some time on making a budget to spend over the next four days (Something like a max of 5-10K a day for the next four days). I do not plan to spend too much as I want to make sure I keep as much as I can to help my family. No fancy trips, no five star hotel stays and no big purchases. Whatever I can keep behind to provide for my family I will do so. A smaller amount will of course go to my favorite charities.

I plan out a good story to use so that I can meet my friends but not have them act weird. I think they will, as soon as they know I have four days left to live. The story I plan to use is that I have accepted an offer to join a MNC abroad and so have to leave in the next four days. Havn’t decided on the name of the company. Sun maybe ?

Since I am very happy where I am, I decided that I don’t need to visit the 7 wonders of the world. I may take one trip though, to Kerala to meet close family. A very justifiable trip under the circumstances and since I am to leave the country soon. Plus I can never tire of visiting Kerala.

I will definitely quit work. Try to handover whatever I can to others within an hours time. I will have to come up with some weird story to say I am leaving on loss of pay or something. I have a total of 96 hours left and don’t want to think of work ever again. This step is optional as depending on my mood I may just disappear one day and not come back. To hell with two months notice and to hell with the project and deadlines. I have a more pressing deadline.

Set up an “out of office” notice to the effect that I will not be back that kicks off on the final day.

Update my website and blog to indicate no further posts will occur as I am going to be traveling on a long trip in the near future and to not expect any updates any time soon ;-). Something to the effect that I will post/email as soon as I reach my destination and as soon as I get access to email.

If time permits I want to compose and send out a farewell email to everyone I know. Configure software to send out an email after the fourth day with actual trip details so that people don’t wonder why I don’t/cant email after I go away. I hope to test this code/software out somehow before I leave J. Dammit been working on projects too long.

Call my friends with the story and fix up appointments over the next four days to meet for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Make all payments remaining on my credit card. Don’t want anyone (my remaining family) to be affected due to my going away suddenly and have to pay off my bills/debts. I don’t have any major loans going on so hopefully shouldn’t have any issues paying off my debt.

Pay any pending taxes. Same reasoning as above.

Close all credit cards/debit cards.

Cut my personal mobile phone connection.

Withdraw just the amount I have budgeted for. Plan to use only cash. Will blow all the money I have budgeted on my family and friends. I will not buy anything for myself other than food and entertainment.

Determine and prepare a list of all my financials and accounts detailing what is where. Insurance details etc.

Meet with my accountant and lawyer and draw up a will leave and instructions on who gets what.

Day 3:
Meet my friends who think I am going off on a trip to some foreign country. I am going to play up to their expectations and state that my final destination is to be the US of A. I want to have some fun with them.

I will of course be buying the food and if possible paying for the entertainment.

By entertainment I meant things like movie tickets/rides etc. Not what you were thinking!

When the friends have gone away I will spend some time with old photographs from school, college, work and beyond and reminisce about the great times I had with my closest friends.

I plan to spend some time on cleaning up my room and getting rid of all disposable items that will be of no use to anyone else. Things I cherish I plan to distribute to friends and family on the pretext that I won’t need them when I go away to USA. Mainly things like my watches, books, photographs,MP3s, cassettes and CDs.

Clothes and shoes I will not wear will be donated. I will be dressed in my best for my last couple of days. I will not buy any new clothes.

If I am up-to it I may partake in activities I had so far not tried such as bungee jumping/ parasailing/ jet skiing as so far I was being careful and wanting to live long. Nothing that could cause harm to others though like rash driving.

Day 2:
Spend entirely with my family in Chennai and if possible visit the remaining in Kerala.
Do nothing crazy but maybe spend time recalling joyous past occasions like weddings, trips and other events.

A flip back through the numerous family albums is inevitable as well.

I want to take my folks to their favorite restaurants and have meals with them. Maybe go to church with them if there is a Sunday in my 4 days.

Day 1:

D-Day. I want to spend packing up/ giving away stuff and generally preparing to go on my long trip. I have by now decided on whom to give what. People at home shouldn’t have to spend any tearful times going through my stuff trying to figure out what to do with it.

I would get a haircut and a shave J to be all set for the trip. Cut nails and shine shoes as well. Clothes hopefully will be pressed and ready as well.

Just for kicks I would go back to the gym and work out for a bit. May as well since those buggers will not give me back my membership fee. This is the last chance I have to use the membership.

If time permits I would also want to drive around my favorite hangout spots like Marina/Elliots beach, drive down ECR at a fairly decent clip, spend some time on OMR, visit my school, college(s) I studied, maybe even visit Spencers Plaza and have both an icecream @ Arun Icecream and a milkshake at the Fruit Shop. Switching off the engine would be a bit traumatic I am sure. I love the growl it make when I floor it starting off from a light going all the way to 4500 RPM wonder how it would be when I know this is the last time. Hey hope the place I visit lets me drive big block V8s / v10s or V12s or if I get to visit the automotive enthusiasts heaven I would get to drive the Bugatti Veyrons W16. :-). A sacrifice of an arm and a leg would be justified to get a drive in such a car !

I have picked out a plot and even settled the payment for the plot and for the builder. With the plot picked out and paid for, I want my future home built using fairly decent wood though not too costly or gaudy. I’m not going to care about termites J. With the carpenter paid for, I have no further expenses other than minor ones such as the travel expenses. I plan on pre-paying for that as well. A dark sober vehicle from Vincent Parker with place for a long box in the back should do quite well.

I would spend any remaining time with family and just generally wait for the flight to leave by listening to my favorite music and watching my favorite movies.

So long folks …my ride has just shown up and its nearing time for my flight. Shall mail/call you once I get there.

Head Mice/Mouse

2005-08-29T03:02:00.000-07:00

Have you ever come up with an idea ever so crazy that you yourself say that this cannot be done or are just so lazy that you spend just a bit of time thinking about it and then forget about it ? I have and my idea was to come up with a way to track head movements using an everyday camera and have that used to control the mouse. I didnt have a camera at the time and didnt have the drive to go get one and spedn the time to write code that would accomplish what I planned. I just forgot about it and every so often I see details of it being implemented by someone or the other. This time it is IBM with the "Head Tracking Pointer". I sincerely wish I had followed up on it, I could have patented that idea. Dammit I thought of it atleast 4 years ago !

SVR & Son

2005-08-22T11:14:00.000-07:00

A picture of my friend SVR's hand holding his son's foot :-)

Hyderabad Trip Photos

2005-08-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

Finally spent some time to do some image cleanups and re-sizing of the following pictures from my trip to Hyderabad to attend a wedding. Danesh was there as well.

Venom

2005-08-11T23:09:00.000-07:00

I am bitten by the Viper from this Revolutionary Venom Line . The widow looks interesting too ;-).

Bladecyclopedia

2005-08-02T21:27:00.000-07:00

Some major blade Mallu Jokes from the Bladecyclopedia by Blade Pakri . Lots more other blade/kadi jokes there.

Celebrity Endorsements Wishlist

2005-08-02T21:10:00.000-07:00

Pretty funny list. Wish I could come up with stuff like this: Sulfury: Celebrity Endorsements We'd Love 2 See

The Banyan

2005-08-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday, I got to sit in while someone I know interviewed Vaishnavi, one of the two founders of The Banyan, a rehabilitation center for mentally ill women. I had earlier heard stories of how the organization was started but had not spent much time thinking about it.
I am in great awe of such people who devote their lives to the pursuit of greater things than just material gains.

This organization was started around 12 years ago by two students of Womens Christian College who noticed a mentally ill woman on the streets outside their college. No one was willing to help the poor woman who was cast out of her home as her relatives didnt know what to do with her. These two women managed to take care of this mentally ill woman and so started of the organization which has since helped several hundred other mentally ill women recover from their illness and even managed to unite them back with their families (even in remote parts of India).

The two gutsy ladies managed to persevere in the face of great odds against their succeeding and today have set up a first rate organization that is at the forefront of such rehabilitation in Chennai if not in India. There is a greater awareness of the organization and what they do, but they still require a lot of help (they have an average deficit of around 2 LAKHS a month !) to continue the good work they do (people can contribute money/services). Do visit their web page detailing ways you can help and also keep a watch out for a big fund raiser they are organizing for August 15th at Sathyabama/Jeppiar Engineering College. Do help them in any way possible.

Kebab - Accident

2005-07-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

All I wanted to do was get a quick lunch and get back to the mountain of work before me but it was not to be. Usually around 7 of us get out of the office at around 1 or so, go to some food joint on ECR or OMR and have a relaxed lunch of around 2 hours (it takes that much time to go there, get the food, eat it and get back). Dont be shocked, we dont do this every day and not even every Friday. If you see the crazy hours we work, two hours for lunch is less.
Today we had only 5 of the usual 7 around and one guy was treating the rest for the completion of his house/flat or something. So we had to go out for lunch. Took 20 minutes to decide to go to Basera on ECR (20 minutes away from work). We could all pile into one car (one of the seven has a new black Elantra CRDI) . He makes full use of the cars power and features in getting us there in a record 15 minutes (as opposed to the 20 it takes other lesser mortals such as myself in lesser cars like mine) . We drove through the Basera parking lot leaving behind a bewildered guard as we realised the place was full by counting the number of cars in the parking lot. Next option go to Kebab Court. This one had just the right amount of crowd. Valet Parking. I was impressed. Wonder if they do that if you go there on a scooter or an old beat up car? We enter to realise that the entire senior management team was already there stuffing their faces. Old Megaphone was there as well. He was with his boss and so didnt talk as loudly as he usually did. He was stuffing face more quickly than everyone else. Guess thats why he was silent.
There was no room in the inn-terior(bad pun) so we were initially seated outdoors under canopies. No actually made to stand for around 10 minutes while they clean the place - with a hose pipe. Finally we sit on wet chairs. No we got them wiped before. Hordes of flies. A pedestal fan close to me is switched off and people sugegst I move my lazy self and switch it on. I try it and nothing works. I hit another switch a bit further off and still nothing. Our soup shows up. But we wanted the flies gone. The waiters carrying the soup attempts to switch on the fan and guess what - gets electrocuted. No that sounds extreme. He got a shock as the switch board and extension cord they had was soaking wet with water from the hose pipe. 5 minutes earlier I had done the same thing and nothing happenned. Good thing electricity cannot pass through rubber solded shoes. :-).
Two meat eaters and three grass eaters at the Kebab place. Fun. Two of us meat eaters pig out on the non veg platter and enjoy ourselves while casting amused looks at the grass eaters struggling with weird kebabs from different roots shoots and vegetables. Dessert was required as well. I had this weird thing from deep fried bread soaked in sugar syrup and then covered with Malai called Shahi Tukada. Yum. Wanted a nap immediately after. Hoped to get one on the short ride back.
We get back into the car. Our man Shumacher inches out of the parking lot looks to the right for oncoming traffic coming down ECR heading to Thiruvanmiyur as we have to head in that direction and then make a U turn back on ECR towards the boondocks we work in. Shumacher lets a bus and a motorcyclist pass by before stepping on the go-pedal turning left. Boom-Thud -Crash ! Aiyyyyooo ! What happenned ? A goofy old guy - a tea vendor on a TVS-50 with a huge drum of tea ran into the cars front and has now fallen. 5 not so hefty not so young men get out of the car and check if the guy is allright. Tea-seller TVS-50-Elantra molester has a nice big cut on his knee with a flap of skin hanging off and some scratches on his ankle. He is all shook up as Elvis would say and so are we. He starts off on some ramble about how "Kadavul" has "Kaapathified" him and us and by His (Kadavul's) "Punniyam" both he and us are still alive. That is ridiculous. We were in a car with airbags & ABS and he is on a TVS 50. Punniyam my foot. Also while falling what does he do? Make sure the tea doesnt spill. Nice Dan3sh should get tea from this guy. He needs a movie called the Tea-Man or something dedicated to him.

Damage done by TVS 50 ? Major dent in the front fender of a car worth around 11 lakhs. He starts attempting to get money out of us by saying we are all "Mothalalis" and so we should take care of him. But strangely there were many witnesses and all came up to say that TVS-Tea guy was at fault and if anything he should be the one making payments. Schumacher in a moment of great thinking asks for money from the Tea-TVS guy as he felt the cost expected would be around Rs 4500. Can TVS-50 guy repay this damage. No. I was scratching my head as I knew this wouldnt work out. Schumacher gets a made up address from the guy to get in touch with and then we head back to work. Of course this time we reach back in 13 minutes. Scary ride that one as we almost hit another TVS-Champ this time on OMR who suddenly decided to cross the road in front of Infosys building (no I do not work there). This is why I do not like being a passenger when someone else is driving.

I also have to put together a rant about TVS-50 riders. So if any one who reads this rides one , be prepared.

Elliots Beach

2005-07-28T07:31:00.000-07:00

Went with Dan3sh, one of the few friends from college I am still in touch with last Sunday evening to Elliots beach. He brought his camera along and took several pictures. A sampling is up on his blog. I like the first 3 pictures but am undecided about the last one. Am posting this in an effort to force him to publish all the other cool ones he took that day as well :-) .

We spent a couple of hours there walking around and him taking pictures. We were hoping to get some better pictures near one end of the beach that was fairly free of people but once we got there we realized it was an open air restroom and so had to beat the retreat. We 'polambified' about our current states in life which is 'single' which is not a good state to be in when you are at the wrong side of your twenties. I forgot to bring up a post by Silverline about the whole Mallu "Pennu Kaanal Ceremony Part I" & "Pennu Kaanal Ceremony Part II" so have added the links here. These posts are must reads for the prospective Mallu bride and groom :-). Most of the details may apply to others in similar ruts in life(Indian with a large family network looking to get you married) with some slight modifications.

We went to the 'Planet Yuk' or was it 'Planet Yum' near the church side of the beach and attempted to get coffees but the Cafe Coffee Day (CCD) seemed to be massively understaffed with one guy preparing orders, collecting money answering questions and also being yelled at by impatient customers. One local dude wanted to first be told what "Indian Style" coffee was available as the whole list of Cafe Lattes, Cappuchinos etc confused him. The CCD employees answer sounded like greek to him and that pissed him off. He then took ages to decide on what to get and then started mumbling about how long it took to ge the coffee. All this while Dan3sh and me were waiting patiently in what seemed to be the queue. Of course no queue is complete with the self centered pompous ass who has to cut through somewhere and then yell out his order, pay for it and get it while everyone else is waiting in queue.

So to the weird looking guy with glasses and wearing a ratty green polo shirt ... I hope I dont run into you again. You got away as I was in a mellow frame of mind. But usually I get all riled up when people behave inconsiderately. I have been trying to eat mental chill pills and go with a nothing affects me attitude. Have succeeded for most part but once in a while while driving it gets very difficult to remain like that when people with IQ's less than my shoe size(they cannot be expected to know things like road rules), show up behind the wheels of vehicles and pester me. Then its back to the maniacal laughter, one hand on wheel, finger out the window and foot on the accelerator ;-). No no ... all that I wrote is fiction ... just kidding about the maniacal laughter part that is.

Six Faces - The Scorpion King

2005-07-28T05:34:00.000-07:00

Our watchman Six Faces (a.ka. Arumugam) is a very conscientious and trust-worthy worker, one of the people we depend on to get things done. He also cleans cars every morning as a way to make more money. I wasn't sure about how good he was at car cleaning but decided to give him a try and was amazed by the quality of his work. Turns out he was willing to do it for free I was able to make sure I pay him for his extra effort in addition to the guard duties.
Last Friday night I get back home at a fairly decent hour(like 7.30 PM ...no I do not have a hectic social life) , have dinner, watch a movie till around midnight and go to bed. While watching the movie I noticed that it was raining pretty heavily outside but didn't think too much about it. I go to bed and early next morning while reading the paper I hear Arumugam come to the door with the milk packets and tell my mother that he had to go off duty for a bit last night. Why ? Turns out the rains had caused a BLACK SCORPION to run into his guard shed and sting him ! For those that do not know, a sting from a black scorpion is considered to be FATAL unless treated immediately. Brown is supposed to be pretty bad too but not fatal ( I have another story about my dad being stung by a tiny brown scorpion). What does Arumugam do ? Ask for help from us who are just a couple of feet away from his shed ? No. He ties up his foot with something to prevent the poison from spreading, hops (bad pun I realize but that's all you can do when you are stung) onto his bicycle and pedals all the way from Nungambakkam till Kilpauk (yes .. over the Chetpet bridge!). He manages to get a Doctor to look at him, get two antidote injections one on his foot and another somewhere on his torso, stays there under observation to make sure he doesn't kick the bucket and then, pedals back !
We were shocked that he did all that by himself. After making sure that he was okay, we let him have it for being stupid and not calling us. I or my Father could have taken him by car to the hospital but I guess he didn't want to trouble us.
Am very happy with Arumugams work for us but feel bad that he didn't want to ask for help.

Points to ponder

2005-07-27T05:02:00.000-07:00

This is just a post about some things I saw over the past week which made me think for a bit(something I do usually try not to do too much).

Man pulling hand cart loaded with soft drink bottles on Sardar Patel road. Whole long stream of cars stuck behind him. I thought people would honk and get mad. But interestingly enough everyone waited till the man pulled the cart past the signal.

Saw a woman and her child on the footpath on Haddows Road. This was the morning after heavy rains the previous night. They looked like they had been on the road all night. I felt kind of weird driving by in an A/C car, wearing nice clean clothes after a good nights sleep on a comfortable bed with a fan and A/C to keep me cool, heavy dinner the night before and good breakfast in the morning and of course a bath in clean hot water ! I realised I should be thankful for what I have.

Saw a strong young man helping his aged parents cross Chamiers road. I was touched by the marked difference in postures between the old parents and that of the son and the way in which he held their hands while crossing the road. I was also reminded that even though I may be driven mad by my parents at times with their ways, I am with them to help them in their old age and time of need.

Walking around a couple of days ago in desperate need for eye drops, I notice a gypsy woman lying on the road passed out. I was in a quandry as I didnt know what to do but before I could think I saw some folks from some company nearby in proper formal office wear stop by the lady and try to wake her up and revive her. My problem of not knowing how to help was immediately resolved so I continued in search of eye-drops. By the time I returned I saw the woman standing up and picking up her belongings. She had apparently been given food/drink and seemed none the worse for her fall.

Ten Commandments For Traffic

2005-07-27T04:04:00.000-07:00

Some Commandments for driving. This will make sense only if you have driven a vehicle in India. Being a passenger doesn't really count. Team-BHP - Ten Commandments For Traffic

More Photos

2005-07-25T10:57:00.000-07:00

Finally resized the remaining photos I took a couple of weekends ago at home.

Sushil's right eye

2005-07-25T06:35:00.000-07:00

This is Sushil's right eye. I feel I have been neglected for the past couple of years and have been taken for granted. I cannot take this anymore and demand that I make myself be given the respect I am due as the 50% shared working partner for his whole outlook on life. I am henceforth starting a non-cooperation movement and have forced him to wander around OMR this afteroon in search of Ayurvedic Eyedrops called Itone as I made him feel me becoming all dry and rough. He swears by the eyedrops and believes it will keep his eyes from harm. Lets see about that. I have since shut down production of tears and so Sushil will have to depend on either a swift kick to the groin or glycerine to see tears in his right eye. Good luck with the eye drops old man I do hope he will not have to resort to the other option.

Wishlist

2005-07-25T06:12:00.000-07:00

Things I would like to get done at some point in the near future in the order which I hope to attack:

Get a broadband connection at home ( Have to decide between BSNL/Airtel/Hathaway/Tata Indicom - Currently in Analysis Paralysis mode) . Update: Got the Airtel Broadband.
Get a mobile phone for my folks as they are the only people who are still not hooked up. Once they figure the whole mobile thing out together may get another phone so that they have one each.
Upgrade the audio system in my car to have a) a CD Changer b) sub-woofer and c) new and improved speakers.
Get wider tyres from the 175/R14 to probably a 195/R14 and snazzy alloy wheels as well for the car.
Add in some stealth mode defensive modifications to the car to repel High beams and tailgaters. More details to follow in another post.
Add some performance modifications on a minum a K&N filter and a free flow exhaust. Supercharger/Turbo charger route still to be decided.
Do the research and get a) 42" or larger TV (projection/plasma ...sure why not it is a wish list) b) home theatre audio hookup with atleast a couple of thousand watts :-).

That is all I can think of as my wishlist for now. Just have to save some money up and knock them off the list one at a time. Guess this should keep me busy for a long while. I havnt considered other living expenses and basic essentials like a house etc. but when one has a 42" TV who needs a house.

Jasmine Flower Pictures

2005-07-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

Pictures I took a couple of weeks ago in our backyard.

Google Moon - Lunar Landing Sites

2005-07-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

I saw this Moon - Lunar Landing Sites earlier in the day but didnt pay much attention to it till a co-worker pointed out that one has to zoom all the way in. I found it really funny. It cleared up the last question I had regarding the Moon.

Sore Eyes

2005-07-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

One of the guys at work told us that he has been diagnosed with some rare degenerative retinal problem which could result in his losing his vision within the next four years. There supposedly isnt a cure for it and all that could be done is steroid based treatment to contain the spread of the degeneration. I feel pretty bad for him and what he is goign through as it is a very scary thing to be told that you have a very good chance of going blind within a couple of years.
Cannot imagine being unable to see the faces of my family and friends, reading books, watching my favourite movies and television shows , browsing the net, sketching and photography. I do wish my colleague the best and hope that it was a false alarm he got today and that things will work out for him.

Thinking back to my own experiences with eye problems caused due to chronic dry eyes and having to go to the doctor every couple of months with an eye infection caused due to dust in my eyes. The worst bout required the Doctor to put some weird ultaviolet dye in my eye and then look at it using a special lamp to find the embedded dust particle and remove it with a Needle. Yes a needle. Each time I had the eye infection due to the dust I was in so much pain that it felt like someone had punched me right in the eyeball. Had been fairly free from the symptoms for a couple of years but off and on it flares up and causes discomfort. Like today my eye feels like there is some grit in it but washing it with water didnt do too much. Hope I am not coming down with it again.

Bay One: The Great Indian Middle Class

2005-07-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

Very interesting read from a blog on The Great Indian Middle Class

My Weekend

2005-07-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

I watched parts of these movies over the weekend:

Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail
Bhagbhan
Charlies Angels Full Throttle
Jajantaram Mamantaram
When Harry Met Sally
Mohabatein
Some random Tamil Movie with Prabhudeva and Parthiban in it (I didnt catch the name)

I remembered my time in the USA where I had a Netflix (www.netflix.com) subscription and watched a movie a day. I had started with the 3 at a time plan but was going through the movies so quickly I moved up to the 5 at a time plan. I was also making use of the movies one could rent from the local public libary as well. This kept my movies watching requirements well fed. Am missing the Netflix subscriptions convenience but as a placebo am instead buying VCDs from the Chennai Landmarks(http://www.landmarkonthenet.com/home.html) at fairly regular intervals and have also signed up for a cable subscription with the all the available channels. I seem to prefer the Landmark in the Spencers Mall to the older one near Gemini.

Saturday:
Drove to Tambaram and back twice on Saturday. A total distance of around 100 km. Killed 4 hours on Saturday doing this. I had my Archos Jukebox charged up and with a playlist of a couple of thousand mp3s on shuffle it eased the stress of the trips on Saturday.

Sunday:
Slept for most part of the morning after having skipped going to Church. Woke up to watch a little TV, have lunch and then go back to sleep. Went to Food World to get a couple of snacks and also picked up the latest Outlook Traveller. It had an interesting cover story about exotic train trips in India. Got suckered in to buying it. The article had some steam in the first trip about the Nilagiri Mountain Railway and its steam engine but after that there wasnt much to keep my attention.
Spent the evening moving my desktop computer from thwe living room where it had occupied space to another room. Killed the rest of the evening watching movies on the Comp/Cable and that was it.

OMR Expansion Project

2005-07-11T01:31:00.000-07:00

I noticed more buildings that have been pulled down either fully or partially because of the OMR expansion project. I found it pretty funny to see a building that was literally torn in half where the whole front part of the building was gone with the rear left standing. It had weird wall formations where previously other rooms existed and also found a staircase that ended halfway to be hilarious. I remembered “Punnu da Dhaba” further down on ECR which had markings right through the dining area indicating they are which was to be demolished. Most buildings on the stretch had similar markings already or surveyors were in the process of measuring the stipulated distances from the road and making the markings.

The whole project seems to be a good idea but the implementation of the project seems to bother me on a couple of fronts. Firstly it doesn’t seem to be done with too much planning or the planning was done but not fully thought out. I welcome the fencing off of the construction areas on Canal bank road near Madhya Kailash to prevent people from either walking through or driving through a potentially hazardous area. Good think there. It works there as the road there that is still available for motorists is wide enough to allow traffic without any incident. But when the same fencing off is done near NIFT just past TIDEL & ELNET it doesn’t seem like it was done with much thought or planning or they just used a different scale to measure the road space left. The whole stretch there now is a multiple accident waiting to happen (if it has not happened already) as the road is not the width of a regular two lane road but is more like a one and a half lane road. One and three fourth if one is in a generous mood. End result the drive down that stretch is a little scary as oncoming traffic which should be going in the other direction appears to be directly heading for you with millimeters to spare when the do hurtle past.

The other thing that bothers me a lot is the stretch past Sathyabama College/University where one half of the road is just blocked off but not much seems to be done by way of work there. So what are the motorists forced to do? Drive at high speeds on the same half of the roadway! People who drive down the stretch every day realize this is happening and stick to the edges of the road on their respective sides but there are some congenital idiots and morons and of course people driving down the road for the first time who believe in overtaking the motorists going at the sides of the road smack into oncoming traffic. I finish typing this up and walk over to some colleagues sitting with grim faces to hear that a couple of our company employees were injured in an accident on this very stretch last night on their way home. Just at the spot where the road is closed and motorists are made to share the same half of the road, cars etc are forced to almost a full stop and then take a 90 degree right hand turn. At this spot the cab was stuck behind a truck carrying metal rods. The truck driver was not able to make the turn and so started backing up and of course the cabbie drives straight into it. End result, one dislocated/fractured jaw and at least one person with pretty serious head injuries. Full details stil not available yet. It was almost like in a movie say eyewitnesses where the metal bars came all the way into the car. I rest my case as I now have proof that the whole thing wasn’t thought out well. It would have made more sense to have signs posted well ahead warning of the sharp turn required ahead and even post signs advising of a speed reduction required. Also if the motorists whose lane of travel is being usurped were warned up ahead, many surprised and confused motorists would have an idea of what was going on when they notice a whole bunch of drivers coming at them in the wrong side of the road.

Evil Thoughts

2005-07-07T09:43:00.000-07:00

While driving today, for some reason I started making a list of all the people I would like to see in trouble. trouble as in an accident. An accident where the occupants walk away without a scratch but with the vehicle they drive totally destroyed (without causing any damage to anyone else of course). I would like to be able to watch the accident, then be able to stop ask them if they are okay and then laugh and tell them I knew this would happen to them and then go on my way. A nice twisted dream for sure.

Here is the list:
1. The the champagne colored scorpio who cut me off multiple times on Canal Bank Road and when I flip him the bird, looks at me incredulously. Saw the vehicle again today, as he was tailgating me on Gandhimandapam road.
2. The Patni Computer Company bus who feels he has to tailgate every vehicle in front of him till they give way on OMR. I wish I could have seen the drivers face when I stepped on the brakes for a second when he got within a foot of my cars rear bumper.
3. The Hindustan College bus with the chariot picture on the back window who for some strange reason thinks he is an autorickshaw and drives only in the left lane.
4. The silver Elantra GT ferrying some Chinese/Japanese children to school whos driver thinks he is Michael Schumacher and always believes in overtaking everything regardless of whether there is space to do so or not.

There. I am done venting for now. Have a nice day you all.

Megaphone

2005-07-07T09:42:00.000-07:00

Just wondering about the multitude of other cube dwellers who have to suffer through over hearing the conversations of their cube mates over the partitions/cube walls. (A scene from the movie Office Space runs through my mind but I cannot remember the exact dialogue. Shall add it in here when I do so) Specifically cube mates who believe in speaking as loudly as they can possibly can when talking to visitors in their cubes or when on the phone. Phone conversations. These get to be very interesting as you are forced to concentrate on just the one half of the dialogue and you have to guess the other part. Turns out to be hilarious when you misconstrue what sounded like a very sad breakup (at full volume) and later get the details when another similary affected cube mate tells me that he thought it was more of a financial break up than a personal breakup :-). I just hope I am not such an irritant to my neighbours when I make the occasional personal call to my dear ones and break into Paccha Malayalam.

Paccha Malayalam - Literally Green Malayalam but really means pure Malayalam

Morning Drive !

2005-07-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

I take Nungambakkam High Road till the Gemini fly-over every morning. People making u-turns when they are coming from Gemini fly-over on Nungambakkam High Road before Ispahani Center cause oncoming traffic to stop and let them go first. Sure go ahead ... one has to share the road since there is no signal. While I am sitting patiently waiting for the hundred cars to go slowly turn in front of me ...there comes a complete idiot in a three wheeled auto/load carrier piece of crap out of nowhere and blocks both me and the traffic that is trying to make a u-turn. He is pretty close to my front bumper and tries to turn right but of course there is no room. The Indica in front trying to turn is also stuck, so is the 3 wheeler as another Moron has managed to get himself behind the 3 wheeler. My BP is going up by now ....not even 5 minutes into the one hour commute of the morning.
Get cut off by a stupid guy in a silver Wagon-R a couple of times ! He cuts me off in the right most lane to then turn left ?????
Idiot in a truck clips a M-800 in front of me and so have to navigate around the mess to get past the Eldams road Signal !
A moron in a White Indica stops suddenly in the middle of the road and then slowly turns into a petrol bunk.
Reach Canal Bank Road with no other inciden. Have my heart in my mouth when multiple vehicles in front of me stop suddenly. I stand on the brakes but the Ikon seems to take its time to stop. I am sure I will hit the auto in front of me but surprisingly I stop with maybe a foot to spare. Almost relax when I hear a tyre squeal and then a Thud and my car vibrate from the impact of a silver Mondeo hitting me right in the backside ! By now the traffic in front has already moved so I manage to pull over to the left side of the road and get out to inspect what I was sure was serious bumper damage. Luckily no visible damage. I finally get to work and inspect the bumper carefully and notice two small spots where the paint has come off. Phew !

Spencers Parking Incident Exit Ramp

2005-07-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

Went to Spencers Plaza to get something for my Mother's birthday with my Mother and Sister. Parked in the basement and did some shopping, some ice-cream eating and then returned to the car.
To leave the basement parking in the Spencers plaza one has to follow a maze of Exit signs around the periphery of the basement till a pretty steep ramp up and out of the basement. A guard stands at the foot of the ramp and allows vehicles to enter the ramp only when the vehicles in front have cleared the ramp for obvious reasons.
We were stuck in a long line of cars waiting to get on the ramp. This line of cars was well formed and orderly and in line one behind the other. Suddenly I notice a white Mitsubishi (Hindustan) Lancer with a black spoiler attempt to cut in front of the Silver Hyundai Santro behind me. The Santro didn’t let the guy cut in and so the spoiler dude now keeps moving ahead till he is inches from my left rear door. I have no room to move and can only move forwards. I do so till the Lancer dude is now stuck between my car, a pillar to his left and the Santro.
Since he has no room to go forwards due to a pillar and so tries to squeeze between my car and the pillar. He cannot do much and goes nuts and starts jumping up and down in his car and I can see the car bounce up and down eerily close to my car. Some space opens up and I move ahead. The Santro behind me also moves up and we leave the Lancer behind forced to get in line.

Complaining to the guards did nothing so I just shut up and went home.

Food World Incident

2005-07-03T03:12:00.000-07:00

Saturday, Around 11.30 AM in theNelson Manickam Road Food World store.

Am waiting in the regular checkout line with my basket of groceries I had selected. A couple in front of me was arguing with the checkout girl over whether some items they had purchased could be marked as food stuff. This was going on for a couple of minutes.
I noticed during all of this that the express lane was empty. Out of nowhere a guy (short, balding and very out of shape with a huge paunch) wearing a light blue shirt with a Godrej Logo on it and a dark blue pant gets into the checkout lane I am in, between me and the couple in front of me from the wrong side. He has a small packet of mushrooms and begins bugging the checkout person to get his packet checked out immediately.

I was getting bugged by all of this and very politely tell the guy that the express lane is empty and available. This ticks off short bald Godrej guy and he tells me I have no business telling him what to do. I am boiling mad at this point as not only has the guy cut the queue but is now acting like I am the bad guy. I let him have it using the cleanest Tamil I can muster. Didn’t use and bad words from my side whatsoever as all I was trying to do was to point out to Baldy Godrej was that he had no idea regarding how to stand in a queue. Bald dude had nothing to retort and so he chooses a low down mean attack and calls me an Erumai. I was shocked speechless as here was I, in the best shapre of my life slim and trim and taller than the dude and he calls me an Erumai ? By this time baldy had realised I wasnt going to budge and that the entire store was looking at him. What does he do. Goes away from the lane I was in and cuts in to another lane in the same exact way from the wrong side. This time some numbskull lets him get away with it and off he goes out of the store. I see him gegt up on to his powerful motorcycle and pedal start it and buzz away, oh did I say powerful and motorcycle. My mistake. The dude was on a TVS 50, nothing against the vehicle, just that nowadays not many people even ride one. It seems to be the modern replacement of the cycle for the riffraff of the city who cannot get anything costlier.

Erumai - Buffalo :-)

Spencers Parking Incident Entrance Ramp

2005-06-18T08:55:00.000-07:00

Go to Spencer Plaza by car for the very first time. Had gone there many times before but it was always by the handy Auto-Rickshaw. Get to the place without incident but I realize it was the calm before the storm. The entrance to the parking structure has two parts one to the left and one to the right. A couple of uniformed guards direct you to either the left or the right entrance. I got waved to the right side. I think shouldn’t really matter, but I thought too soon. I notice that the ramp I was on was a pretty steep one and there was a White Mitsubishi Lancer with two people in front of me and a silver Maruti Suzuki Zen in front of the Lancer with four passengers. The Zen was having trouble making turns and so would stop back up and then proceed. This resulted in the Lancer having trouble in the turns as well. The Lancer had trouble because of its length and so had to do a similar attempt to make the turn, fail, stop, back up and then proceed process. I was in the Ford Ikon and noticed all of this going on with a sick feeling in my stomach. I was never comfortable driving on slopes and the chance of rolling back into someone was just too great here. I also noticed several hundred scratch marks all over the walls of the ramps at the corners where many others had tried and failed. I joined the ranks of the poor drivers who were not able to make the turns without backing up but managed to get out of the first turn without scratching the car up. That been done was now stuck on a straight up ramp while the Zen and the Lancer played the turning game at the next sharp left turn. My feet started getting tired and so I put on the hand brake and wait. Then when the two cars clear I smoke a bit of the handbrake attempting to get started without rolling back. I succeed and also managed to navigate the next two or three nightmarish turns as well and reach the top at the cost of the now famous burning rubber smell that seemed to fill the parking structure. Have vowed to not go there in the newer car for a long while and to also make sure I go to the left entrance instead of the right. Do wish they had given the ramps a bit more thought and space when they designed the building which is awesome in all other respects.

Bathing in a river

2005-05-17T00:41:00.000-07:00

Another flashback to my childhood when I went to a river close to our home in Kerala with a couple of cousins and an uncle. The uncle in question was a very interesting person. Not much older than me, welll he may be around 10 years older than me at most. An uncle who was more like an elder cousin. He had decieded he wasnt into the whole school thing and had so stayed away from a whole lot of it. Since he bunked so much school he knew all the cool and fun things to do in the small sleepy village of Puthupally. So during the afternoon of a summer day, he comes up with the brilliant plan to go to bathe in the river. The river was a short walk from the house and one has to go with a change of clothes and a soap and two "thorthus" . Why two you may wonder. I shall let your think about it for a bit before I tell you why. I cannot remember who else was there with me but I do remember some other kids along with me as well. I was probably the only one in the group who was new to the whole bathing in rivers thing. Surprisingly my folks allowed me to go as they would usually not let me attempt such things that could in their minds be considered life threatening. So with the parental units approval, soap and clothes in had we headed out to the river. The walk was pretty uneventful as the destination was what we were interested in. Finally at the river the whole two thorth requirements were understood. I was instructed to wrap one around my waist and then strip out of my shorts and undies. The shirt of course was to be taken off before that. One had to do the whole disrobing routine while holding on to the set of clean clothes wrapped in the other clean thorth. We placed our clothes on some big kappa ellas we found nearby and eased our way into the water. The water was cool and dark and the river bank under my feet felt cold and slimy. The water though cold at first touch and causing me to shiver seemed like the best thing in the world. We waded in till we were waist deep in the water. Amazing feeling of being in cold water on a hot summer day looking up at a dark green sky. Trees. Of course I was not talking about the sky but of the thick canopy of trees that entirely covered the river totally blocking out the sky so that all that one could see was just green. We played around in the water , splashing it around on whoever was nearby. Fun as one could get ones hair wet and still not worry. The only clothes we wore , the thorth was soaked through as well. There was some weird joking going around about how one could indeed take a rest room break of the liquid kind right then and not have anyone realise. Yikes. To this date I dont know someone in the group actually did so or not.
Then the soaping up. Another amazing experience as for some reason the soap lathered up much more than what I was used to. To wash the soap off was even more interesting. One has two choices: either move in to deeper water or resume the splashing. I tried the deeper water and the splashing.
By now it was slowly getting late and even though it didnt seem like much a couple of hours had gone by. I got out of the water and dried off and dressed. Walked back reluctantly with the wet towels on one shoulder examining my fingers that had wrinkled up like the elephant man.

Hope to go back to the river again some day and repeat and rinse :-).

Thorth - Towel
Ella - Leaf
Kappa - Tuber plant

Filed Under: Memories

Going Fishing In Kerala

2005-05-07T10:34:00.000-07:00

Digging back into the earliest memories of my youth I found one of the day one where I went fishing when I was around 7 years old my Paternal Grandfathers home in Puthupally, Kottayam, Kerala. My Appachen as I called him was an avid fisherman who would wake up at a really early hour in the morning like 3 or 4 am and go fishing. This was while he was still working on a full time day job ! He was into fishing with a Vala and was not a rod and reel type of guy. When he planned to go fishing he would have to make sure his fishing Vala was in top condition and repair it if it was torn in any place. He would have to get the vala dried and properly arranged (Im struggling to find a word to describe it as "folded" does no justice to it) from the prior fishing trip before it could be used again as it was pretty heavy when wet. He had also carried along with him a bright torch , a wicker backet to carry home the catch, a stock of paaku(paan type mix) and vethala(betel leaf) and beedies along with the vala. Attire was pretty casual ...a mundu and shirt was worn only if it was cold. And the Mundu was one of the older more comfortable "Color-Mundus" than the more formal Church going ones. This was a loner type sport and he always went alone. No one else got the privilege to go with him. Not even his own two sons.
But surprise surprise... he asks me if I would like to go with him ? Of course I wanted to and spent the time till we went in eager anticipation. In preparation of the big event I was given my dinner early the night before and sent to bed early. Was woken up at what was to me at that time "the middle of the night" but really only around 4.30 am or so. Later I was told Appachen went later so as to give me more time to sleep. I was dressed and ready in shorts and t-shirt and "hawaii"(rubber) chappals. Drank a bit of water and off we went in the darkness down the long and dark drive way of our home to the road. The driveway was not paved but had two grooves where vehicles and walking had worn away the grass that covered the rest of the place.
I was given the job of holding the wicker basket in one hand and was holding my grandfathers hand with my other hand.
Dont remember much of the fishing as such but do remember that Appachen caught two small fishes which I had the privilege of putting in the basket and carrying home when we were done. It was fish fry for lunch that day ;-)

Vala - Net
Mundu - Dhoti in Malayalam
Color-Mundu - Lungi in Malayalam

Filed Under: Memories

Growing Shorter In Height !

2005-04-27T10:44:00.000-07:00

A very disturbing thing happened this past week . I found I am shorter in height by an inch ! How did this happen ? I still have not fully understood the "how" of it but I have understood the why part of it. Let me start from the very beginning. I had been very happy when I had matched my father in height and was even happier when I had overtaken him in height (He is around 5'2"). Suddenly I noticed I had stopped growing taller and I measured my height using the same tape I had always used and voila ...I was 5'8" tall. I had hoped to be a six footer but 5'8"was still respectable and I was happy with it. So from that point on when anyone asked me ...I replied that I was 5'8". Till suddenly one day when joining up at a gym, I was asked for my height and weight by one of the trainers. I gave the standard answers I was now so used to giving ...But of course they wanted to double check. They check my height and say 170 cm, that's 5'7" . I am shocked ! I had remembered the 170 cm part of it. But previously somehow I had calculated the conversion to feet as 5'8". I had to find out. Go check the web and realize my fate is sealed . Most online conversion sites say the same things ... 170cm = 5'7" ! So here I am shorter in height by an inch ...And this is even before I have reached my thirties ..... Well before my sixties and seventies where curvature of the spine due to age begins !
I am still trying to reconcile myself to the fact that I will grow shorter in the future ....

Chakka Velaichathu - my favourite food

2005-04-08T08:23:00.000-07:00

I have tried a variety of different desserts and foods from different cuisines but Chakka Velaichathu from Puthupally Kerala rates the highest in my mind. This is the naaden equivalent of Tirunelveli Halwa but made from Chakka phazham mixed with jaggery and some flour base on a slow wood fire with repeated stirring with a wooden thavi. The final product after a labourof love of a couple of hours of stirring has to be covered and allowed to slowly cool. The color and consistency at the end is a dark brown and a bit thicker than Thirunelveli halwa(my second most favourite halwa). When refrigerated for a while it gets harder and can be pretty tough. Not for someone with bad teeth or easily dislodged dentures.

Chakka Velaichathu can be eaten as dessert or a snack by itself or combined with Puttu for breakfast or as a filling within special adas for a tea time snack. The only warning note for the uninitiated is that indulging in this in large quantities could result in severe gastric distress. Like tasting fine wine, one should imbibe just a little bit of it at a time and stop eating before you feel sick.

Chakka - Jackfruit
Velaichathu - Pureed ? Somebody Help Me Please

Drive Down ECR & OMR

2005-03-10T09:38:00.000-08:00

This is a true account with no changes made regarding the principal characters in the description below. To all those in Chennai who were waiting for a such a race, it does happen when you least expect it so look out ..and drive safe no race is worth it if a life is put in danger. Apologies in advance for the verbal diarrhea resulting in the rather lengthy account of this mornings drive.
Date: 10th March 2005
Time: 8:20 – 8.40 AM
Location: Chennai, the scenic East Coast Road (from now on referred to as ECR) along the beach & Old Mahabalipuram Road (from now on referred to as OMR and known as the IT corridor where all major IT companies have large development centers lining the 30 km stretch) & the Connector between ECR & OMR near Sholinganallur
Cars: 2002 Ford Ikon 1.6 – Silver - Driven by myself – 30 something Male
Maruti Zen (couldn’t tell which model/year – the classic jelly bean shaped zen) Maroon – Driven by 20 something lady!

This morning I was driving down ECR (alone) as usual on my way to work at one of the software firms on OMR …was already 20 minutes into my daily 40 minute commute. Had been driving at a sedate 45 kmph in the one usable lane out of the two available lanes on ECR. There was the usual traffic in the morning …pedestrians and cyclists in the left lane and a stream of cars/buses/vans in the right lane. I was in the right lane following the other cars …not overtaking through the left as I just wasn’t up to it. So just driving along listening to some music on Radio Mirchi generally thinking about the day ahead. There was a white tourist ambassador in front of me and a black Hyundai Elantra behind me. All driving in single file …maintaining the same speed and being generally careful. While looking in my RVMs I noticed a Zen overtaking cars behind me one by one. I could see it one moment and then it would disappear behind another car … saw this for a couple of times. Also noticed that each time this was done the driver was using the cars turn indicators! I became very curious as I usually use my indicators … but haven’t seen many others do so in Chennai. While thinking about this the Zen was at my left side … trying to overtake me ! I peer through my left window and notice the Zen was driven by an attractive lady nice features, shortish-stylish hair and wearing sunglasses. In a flash the Zen is in front of me and is preparing to overtake the Amby in front of me.My breath stopped for a second. Could this be the moment I have been waiting for since reading a bunch of Pedal to the Metal stories on www.Team-BHP.com of members racing the fairer sex. I was very hopeful and start to follow the Zen in the left lane. The Zen dispatches the amby in front of me without a thought and I follow it without any effort. The Elantra behind me also saw what was going on and joins the party and starts following me for a bit but I guess he was worried about his new car and dropped out soon enough falling back behind other traffic.We are now well past the densely populated areas and the traffic thins out so that the left lane is more or less empty with just a few two-wheelers in it. Now the vehicles in front of us are two college buses in the right lane fully laden with students and going at around 40 kmph. Not fast enough for the Zen which is by now close to XX Kmph. In tandem we overtake two buses from the open left lane and get into the right lane ..which by now is the only lane on the road. There isn’t any room to overtake so I follow close behind at a safe distance I should add. The road widens and as soon as it does we hit more slow moving traffic. The Zen puts on the left indicators and tries to overtake from the left but doesn’t succeed. I know the futility of overtaking on the left on this stretch as I have been driving down this road daily for the past two months and so stay in the right lane. The Zen gets an opening and pushes through ….I check to make sure it is safe to do so and follow through. Now it is just the two of us on an open road which again unfortunately has become a single lane road again. So I have no choice but to follow. We are doing around XXX Kmph by now on a good stretch of road. We are now close to reaching a small road that connects the ECR & the OMR which I have to get off ECR to take. I wonder if the Zen will continue straight down ECR or take the connector to the right towards OMR. I was hoping it would …and yes it puts on its right turn indicator and I can’t help but grin thinking that the race was still on. We turn onto the connector … but this is a very narrow rural road two lanes in parts but mostly one lane, badly paved with numerous potholes and traversed by government transport buses, college buses, lorries, cars and rickshaws not forgetting cycles and two wheelers and pedestrians. The zen was zipping ahead in front of me doing 60 on the initial well paved two lane stretch. I was caught behind a slow two wheeler who darted in the middle of the road and thought I would lose the Zen but funnily enough I catch up to her and she gets stuck behind a two wheeler and I get a chance to overtake. But at that moment I realize she had let me overtake as there was no reason for her to slow down behind a two wheeler at the left side of the road on a two lane stretch with no oncoming traffic for as far as the eye can see. I zoom ahead but sadly from that point on the road is badly paved and cant do more than 20. I finally get to the end of the connector and now I wonder where the Zen will go as I have to turn left. I put on my left turn indicator and look in my RVM and notice the Zen’s indicator showing a left turn too. My joy knows no bounds as I have another 10 km stretch on this road. I turn left and merge smartly into traffic on OMR but the Zen lags behind trying to get onto OMR. A few hundred feet forwards on OMR all traffic comes to a stop due to some van turning in the middle of the road. I notice the Zen furiously working the turn indicators trying to get ahead of cars that are slowly starting to move. She is now in the left lane again and I am in the right lane behind an Infosys staff bus that is going slowly. The bus starts moving to the left as the Infosys building is close by and it is going to stop …the driver indicates that I can overtake him and I do so …the Zen takes a bit to catch up but that was enough for me to get to XX kmph …with the Zen far back in my RVM. Of course I reach more slow moving traffic of another Infosys bus and a Maruti 800 that fill the two lanes. The Zen catches up and still persists in the left lane trying to get ahead while I stay in the right lane behind the bus. I know from past experience that the bus is going to turn left a little further on so I maintain my speed and notice the Zen get all twitchy as she cant overtake the Maruti-800 nor the bus. The bus makes a wide turn and forces all of us the 800, the Zen and me to stop till it turns. Since I was in the rightmost lane I got started back up first. In the middle of all of this I notice a white Hyundai Accent gain on us while we were recovering from the stop caused due to the bus turning left. I wasn’t about to be bested by a latecomer Accent and so I give the accelerator a light caress and soon I saw my speedometer show XXX. The Zen was in my RVM trying its best to catch up to the Accent which had by now got between us. I decided to go a little faster so I reach XXX +20 kmph and now see the Accent and the Zen both look like they have given up. And before any of you panic …this stretch of road is totally empty with absolutely no traffic and is surrounded on both sides by palm tree plantations. So it is a nice stretch with a good view ahead of the road where one can speed safely and slow down well before reaching a densely populated bus stop. Since I saw there was no contest I ease off the accelerator and let the car slow down before the stretch of road with a lot of people on it near the bus stop. Around 100 feet from the bus stop is where I get off the road and turn into my office gate …. I can see the Zen in my RVM and wonder for a moment if it will turn in behind me ..but it doesn’t so it keeps going down OMR. If this was the evening drive I would have followed ..but sadly it was the morning and I had to be in before 9 am so had to stop the fun.The Accent turns in behind me into my office and parks next to me. The driver seemed to have some lady with him so he gives me a glare and takes off without a word. Guess he was trying to show off in front of his lady friend and I spoilt things by out acclerating him. I had a lot of fun this morning and got into work with a big grin due to the adrenaline rush of the drive. I will now have to look out for a maroon Zen on ECR/OMR for an encore.

XX Double Digit Speed in Kmph that I dare not mention.
XXX - Triple Digit Speed in Kmph that I shiver to mention.

WARNING: Do not try this on any road ever. I was crazy then and have since reformed. Have not crossed XX Kmph after that.

Parting with a dear friend

2004-11-24T14:33:00.000-08:00

I knew it was going to happen , but did not think too much about it till it actually happened. She was my dear friend and companion for six years. Though she had an official name I never called her that or a cutesy equivalent ..I called her "my baby". I didn't have to speak to her but I felt she always understood what was on my mind. Trustworthy,dependable and with fairly good looks she was a great catch. I knew she was to be mine the moment I saw her. I moved quickly to get in touch with her and within a few days we were together. Inseparable !
Wherever I went, she went with me. Barring a couple of short trips without her, we have been together most of the time for the past six years. Not many relationships last this long.
I had never thought for a moment that I would have to leave her and she never gave me any reason to think of leaving her either. She was always with me through tough times and happy times. She was there to listen when there was no one else to talk to and no place for me to go. She has been the equivalent of a home away from home due to the feeling of comfort and belonging I get when I am with her . But unfortunately our paths had to part.
My returning to India wasn't something she would be able to handle. She was born in the USA and would not be able to survive in India. Just the paperwork to allow her entry into India was too much and the price to pay too high. She would be too out of place there.
Things have their way of working out. I had introduced her to one of my friends and he too, just like me before him fell in love with her instantly. He talked to me and since he knew I would be leaving to India, met her a couple of times, went on a couple of drives and finally with my blessing proposed to her, requesting that she be with him. She didn't really have a choice in this and so accepted his proposal. We parted ways today. We didn't talk much the past couple of days, just took a couple of last drives together. Just drove in silence as there was too much going on in our minds.
She has gone away now, to be with some one else for ever, as part of his family. I wish them the best to come in the future. I heard some of their future plans and their hope of a baby in the near future. When her new "special someone" came to take her away I didn't have any witty words to say when we parted. All I could make was small talk and some advice to drive carefully. I stood in the freezing rain watching them drive away.... My friend and the car I drove for the past six years !

Return to India (R2I) In Full Swing

2004-11-23T13:39:00.000-08:00

I have known that I am to leave to India for over 2 weeks now. I have another two more weeks exactly to the day to get on the plane ... here I am at this midway point.

Prior to knowing specific dates when I was to leave I did the following:

Moved all repeated online payments to one credit card and all miscellaneous payments on another. Makes life easier when one has to close accounts.
Stopped buying large items.
Moved to a month to month rental agreement for the apartment.
Paid off all major loans.

So far I have already done the following in the past two weeks:

Decided on dates to leave and bought air tickets
Notified my apartment leasing office ( and sweet talked them into allowing me to pay for the first 7 days of the month instead of the whole month :-) ) .
Published ads for the sale of my car . Car is as good as sold now.
Rented a car for the last two weeks.
Closed miscelaneous store/credit cards
Determined what needs to be given away/thrown and started on that path.
Mailed some books I want to keep.
Decided to give away stuff than to sell ... ( books, kitchen stuff, furniture)
Fixed up to shut down electricity a day after I leave.
Closed fitness club membership.
Deposited my last paycheck
Checked on the allowable luggage weights with the airline.
Bought last minute gifts planned by me/requested by family.
Informed close friends through calls/chat/in person .... this causes the inevitable barrage of lunch and dinner invitations.
Sent my letter of intent to leave to employer ...
Informed project team members of intent to leave ( they have known I will leave in December for the past 4 months)
Reserved a U-Haul to cart remaining furniture to relatives/friends homes.

Woodward Nightmare Cruise

2004-08-21T16:31:00.000-07:00

The day started off in anticipation of the annual Woodward Dream Cruise. Had a haircut done in the morning and took a short nap to be awake and refreshed. Digital camera batteries were charged up in the morning and CF cards cleaned out.After pottering about at the apartment, finally head out at around 5.30 PM. More than an hour later than I wanted to start. But oh well. Finally on my way .Car seemed to be making more noise than normal due to the leaky exhaust system ....no major deal I think as I have driven around with something similar in the past for weeks on end without any problem. Wrong ! While waiting at the light to cross Woodward, I hear muscle cars close by and in the distance rev their engines. Sounds good ....then I hear something strange .. my car is making a deap throaty roar . Sounds like a v8+ muscle car with 400+ horses under the hood. For a moment I dream, but reality kicks in ... I drive a car with a wimpy 4 cylinder making an aneamic 106 HP !!! The light changes and the traffic starts to move ahead when I hear, above the roar of my engine a new noise which bothers me more than the roar of the engine ...it is the sound of metal scraping on the road below ! BAD ! Nails on a chalkboard havnt bothered me so much. Drive painfully with two noises jarring my fillings .....for a distance not much more than a mile ....but it felt like more due to the traffic and because of the noise. To add to the turmoil in my mind ..I see the reflection of my car in a shop window and I can see a metal rod scraping on the ground ....and pointing towards the front of the car. I now worry that it is going to catch on something and my car is going to be stuck in the middle of the road. Somehow the car limps into the parking garage and wonder of wonders ...I find a spot on the ramp not too far from the entrance . Park and get out to inspect the damage. Doesnt look good at all. Good chunk of the exhaust has broken loose and is on the ground under the driver's seat. The end of the pipe is still fixed solid to the silencer at the rear of the car. I sit in the car and hold my head for a while.I figure there isnt much I can do for now as no one will be able to come to help me out due to the traffic at the moment. Decide to go shoot pictures of some cars and not worry about my car. Big mistake. Did not enjoy a single minute of the day as every time I hear a lound exhaust note ...which was almost every 5 seconds I remembered my car.Walked around and took some pictures till around 9 PM. Walked back to my car and tried to shake the exhaust pipe loose. No such luck. Go to the garage attendant and ask for help.Search for towing companies in the book. As expected all local ones contracted out for the day.Finally get the number and call AAA around 10.20 PM. Of course I didnt have my membership card with me and so had to go through all the trick questions they have to verify my identity.They promise to send someone from Rays Metro Towing between 10.30 and 11.30 PM.Wait next to the car for an infinite amount of time ...feeling cold and hungry and icky and angry and alone. 11.40 rolls around and no sign of Rays Towing. Get all ready to call AAA when the towing guy calls asking for directions and that it will take him another 30 min. to get there !Finally he shows up at 12.20 AM. He talks about kicking the thing off !! I suggest he tie the thing up somehow so that it doesnt scrape on the ground. The guy gets some rope from his truck and after half hour or so of lying under the car ....manages to tie the broken B pipe (as I later learnt) up to the inner door handles so that it wouldnt drag on the ground. I thank the guy both with words (he seemed happy with that alone) and shocked him with a tip too. It elicted a "Cool thanks man" from him. Then the 6 mile drive back in a race car with the hazard lights on !Make it back to the apartment by 1 AM. Hungry angry and tired as hell . Heat up some Poli and stuff face ...before crashing for the day .

Flight in a 4 seater plane (Long Post Warning)

2000-08-15T02:08:00.000-07:00

Came in to work on a Saturday to fix a production issue. I managed to fix the issue by around 2 PM. I hear keyboard clicks and realize someone else is also in the building and so walk around to find one of the client business experts (CT) at work at his desk.

He tells me he was on the way to the airport on his way to Bad Axe, a city an hour North of Detroit in flying time. I had forgotten that this guy CT was an avid flier with his own plane who spent his weekends flying to different places to rack up flying time towards his experience as a pilot. Though fully trained he was still a relative newbie and so needed to gain more experience. He offered to give me a ride, on his plane. I did not think at all but accepted immediately.

CT drove us to the Pontiac Airport in his dark blue Plymouth Neon(this was back in the days when Plymouth existed in the DCX group) which was mainly used for cargo flights and for Daimler Chrysler Execs flying in as he had his plane hangar there. CT drove into the airport entrance and along a driveway till he reached the hangars. Hangar space was rented to CT and his friend who jointly owned the 20 year old plane which they had bought used for around $80K. The hangar was much smaller than I had expected. It was the size of a slightly large garage with a corrugated metal roof and doors of the same material. A small padlock guarded the contents of the hangar.

CT opens the place up and I get my first glance at the plane. It is a small plane (cannot remember its name, was it a Piper Cub ?) with a single nose mounted engine and propeller in front. The light creamy white colored old plane was a sight I had never seen before and never in such close quarters. I walked around the plane while CT performed his pre-flight inspections and checks. It took CT close to an hour to check the zillion things required before he could take off. Finally he was done. Time to go up.

To enter the plane one has to climb to the wing on the right hand side and walk along a rubberized strip to get to the single door to the plane and pull on a chrome handle that looked like it came off an antique car to open the door and get in. CT had to go first as the pilots seat was on the left. In the USA pilots and car drivers sit on the left. I get in next and sit down in black leather bucket seats that also look like they came from a car. The interior space in the plane also was about the size of a mid size car. It felt smaller than a car actually. After a couple more minor checks CT checks if the door is secured and then we belt up and I get handed a headset that looks like huge noise canceling headphones but with an additional mic boom. I put them on and realize one has to use it to talk to each other as the engine noise is supposed to get pretty loud. CT and I check to make sure we can hear each other.

CT hits the ignition and the propeller starts up in front of us. The engine was not too loud but loud enough to notice. We get moving onto the runway from the hangar and CT gets some instructions over the radio. CT suddenly veers off the runway towards the left and then I realize he is going to fuel up before taking off. A fuel truck drives up close to the plane and fills the tank up with aviation fuel. CT doesn’t need to swipe his card or anything. He has an account at the airport and so doesn’t need to do anything.

We taxi back on to the runway and get in line behind another small plane waiting for take off. Not much of other air traffic at the place. After the plane in front takes off we get the go ahead to take off. CT increases the speed of engine and the plane starts moving down the runway. Funnily enough it still feels like driving in a car with serious wind noise issues. At around 55mph the nose begins to lift and soon we are in the air and climbing steadily. The climb was a mix of great fear and great awe for me, because I looked down and the ground seemed so far away. We climbed in many lazy circles till we got to a cruising altitude and then CT points the plane due North and we head towards Bad Axe.

I spend my time looking down and picking out the areas I recognize like the Chrysler Tech Center and the Auburn Hills area. Soon we are out of the thickly populated urban areas and over the suburban farm lands. Everything was set in nice neat rows with very few curves. But soon the repetitive landscape became very monotonous. The only interesting items I decided were the water bodies that showed up from time to time, consisting of both natural and man made lakes and ponds.

CT noticed I was looking bored and so started explaining the instruments in the cockpit. I even got to hold the joystick for a bit when there was no crosswind and the plane was level. It was just a weird experience. I realized I better not hold on to it for too long and quickly let CT handle the controls again. Though he didn’t let on I got the feeling that the plane started going towards the left for a bit when I held the controls.

Anyways we were pretty close to Bad Axe by now and CT was requesting permission to land there. Soon we see the airport and the runway. The airport building was just a shed at the side of what looked like a weirdly long field. That was Bad Axe airport. CT tells me that to land at the airport one had to fly parallel to the right of the runway then take an almost 90 degree left turn and then another almost 90 degree turn and thus get in line with the runway and be able to land. Sounded too simple. Turns out the flying parallel to the runway part indeed is simple and CT managed that with no issues. The turning part is where things get tricky. Without any wind CT would not have had any trouble, but that day the wind was pretty strong. CT makes the first left turn with some amount of fighting the wind. The wind picked up exactly when CT made the next turn and was so powerful that the little plane was pushed off course by around 10 feet. Yikes. My mouth suddenly was full as my heart was in my mouth and beating faster than ever before. Luckily CT had enough time to correct the course of the plane and align it with the runway. Was very eerie watching the runway as a marking on the ground approach you with great speed growing larger every second. CT managed to stay on course though I noticed he did look a bit shaken and had to fight with the controls. We landed without any incident and taxied to the end of the runway and back to an area where the plane could be “parked”.

We walk into the airport building and stand around there while CT signs the register there to indicate that “CT was here” . Formalities completed we walk around outside for a few minutes. It was close to 5 PM by then. We had to head back before dark as CT still did not have the experience to fly solely by instruments, required to fly after dark.
The flight back was a repeat of the one to Bad Axe with one exception. Since we had to head back South it meant I was getting an aerial view of the skyline of Detroit downtown that I had never seen before. It got to be even more picturesque when clouds covered most of the area and only the tallest buildings were visible. I was in heaven when the color of the sky started to change towards 6 PM for a glorious sunset towards our right while we were flying South towards Detroit. We flew over the Silver Dome and the Chrysler building and then landed at Pontiac airport.

When we get out CT hands me an old flying map of the Michigan area as a memento and drops be back at the airport. Though I thanked him for the flight of my life I do not think I have thanked him enough as he has given me a story not many others can match. Thanks again CT.

Category:
memories
detroit
michigan
flying